By crimson-river on June 17th 2008, the wee hours.
on topic depression
depression huh?
well, I can talk to you about that any day.
it sucks.
it blows.
It took everything I thought I knew about myself
and put it on the tallest shelf
to collect dust.
i reach for it everyday,
but still it's too much to grasp.
memories of that life will never fade
because it meant so much to me.
i would kill myself before i ever end up
in another psychiatric institute.
everything i do everyday reminds me
of something i used to know.
something i used to take pride in.
something or someone i used to love.
something that made me happy.
something that made me want to reach towards that top shelf again.
but, since i failed to take that into my own hands
i'm stuck with the depressed feeling
i get way too often.
i wanted to grow up when i was younger
but, now i want to go back to my childhood.
i grew up way too fast,
now, there's nothing left to believe.
.
.
.
i cut my arms,
cut my wrists,
cut anything that has skin.
i cry,
i want to die,
i want to live someone else's life.
i'm alone,
i want to get stoned,
overdose,
anything to change my state of mind.
i'm grubby,
i want to take a shower,
but i can't bring myself to do it.
i quit drinking,
that's the last of my pride.
at least i did something right.
i'm lonely,
i'm misunderstood,
i can't relate to anyone else.
i love blood,
and just because it's in me,
doesn't mean i love myself.
i hate,
me,
you,
everybody.
throwing fists,
throwing fits of rage,
at anybody who gets in the way.
i hurt,
the innocent.
the ones who want to help.
.
.
.
{that's it for now}
Author notes
well,
this was a free write...
lately that's the only thing that can spark a few words from me...
a prompt...
free writes are only meant to take up to about 5 minutes...so it's not anything that took a million years to write obviously...
this one happens to be on depression...
it is truly how i feel,so i'd give a shit less about whether or not you liked it...
enough said...
i really need to start capitalizing my i's. texting has got the best of me...
peace.love.skylar.scarlette
A contest entry
- Dark, Heartless thoughts! by darkstinger.
450 points, ended June 23, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what needs improvement?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
love it
"i reach for it everyday,
but still it's too much to grasp.
memories of that life will never fade
because it meant so much to me"
love this part
join this group it's called
"the power of darkness"
http://allpoetry.com/group/show/the%20power%20of%20darkness
thanks
-
love it
-
Your a very good writer, and I can relate to your poem cuz I feel the same way very often but my son takes that feeling away. But I love your poem I swear I felt you was writing about me. I love your truth.
-
this is a really good poem. its truthful and gets your feelings across very well. i just hope you get some inspiration from your own experiances rather than promts. =)
-
It speaks a truth about depression that is very rarely spoken, nobody who sits here offering an ear will do anything to change it. I like this poem a lot in that it takes no pity from anyone, it screams realism. I am one of the people who like to keep depression bottled up and think it is way to overly written about to use as a relative subject matter, however, in your different approach to it it felt like a new poem, instead of the same one repackaged for the thousandth time. Good job.
-
Honestly, I love free writes. They are very true to the feeling and not so tweaked and hyped up as you make it. You made the reader see exactly what you and your angst was about. I did like it, even if you don't give two shits if I did or not
-
Well this is exctly how depression is.just be content that everyone goes through it.I m right now.and its hell here too. Thanks for sharing.god bless.susan
-
Well this is exctly how depression is.just be content that everyone goes through it.I m right now.and its hell here too. Thanks for sharing.god bless.susan
-
It really sounds like it came from deep within. i like the part about being a child and wanting to be older and getting old and wanting to be young. I cant honestly say i can relate to the feelings here though, ive lived a sorry ass life up till now, homeless for 3 years, in jail for 4 months and i just got back to my home state. And i cant say that during any of that that i didnt want to go on, lifes a roller coaster, enjoy the ride. But in all i belive what you write, i just hope that my perpetual happy doesnt slump you into a bout of depression.
-
Wow! This is powerful and I can relate to the horrible feelings of depression too. You did a really nice job describing what it feels like to be in that deep black hole. I know now though that depression happens for a reason. That is so that we are forced to look deep inside ourselves and deal with a deep pain that we have shoved down too many times. Try to just go with it once and allow yourself to wallow. It is not easy, but necessary. I know from much experience with depression. Great job expressing some really painful emotions here. Blessings, Patty
-
"but, since i failed to take that into my own hands
i'm stuck with the depressed feeling
i get way too often.
i wanted to grow up when i was younger
but, now i want to go back to my childhood.
i grew up way too fast,
now, there's nothing left to believe." that was my favorite part i loved the whole poem i thought it was very well written
. -
Roll, with the punches, in Salad Days.
Depression?
In Uberangst of Youth, I too for
So truth could go on into that down,
Wear that Under-Crown, mouth off
Around it, going down, on it.
That your "sucks, blows", evoked of me
in conjunction with the "talk about" image.
because it meant so much to me.
*** The ambiguity of this line appealed;
I could also say, that far, the piece were a
fair depiction cum evocation for cogniscenti of
the sentient statehood bound & loathing essayed here.
but, since i failed to take that into my own hands
*** An extra comma would probably add weight to this line, either at the end or, more poignantly perhaps, after "since".
i'm stuck with the depressed feeling i
get way too often.
*** Similarly, a slight change, but a whole shift in weight of emphasis; the first line may then seem trite, but the second, to my i, strikes hard.
but, now i want to go back to my childhood.
*** Again, comma, after "want"; removing the one after "but" could also be good.
{NB: I give not editorial advice, but rather commentry, for later works to benefit. }
I like the shift to rhyme.
And the short, punchiness as it comes to a close. 
the innocent.
*** Rendering this with a comma reduces the solipsism without but braodening the meaning, to advantage, for all. [Note: "ipse", like "ego" and "id", is indicative of "self" in Latin; Freud substituted the "super ego" in place of the Roman "ipse", as Social Pressure were to depose Sovreign Selfhood.
In the 'hood,
Master Anarchy.
-
This was a great write. Free writes are one of the best ways to get what you need to say out. I just can't do free write like that.
Ray
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
