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Ode to the Road (Haiku)

Winding concrete stream
Take me to greener pastures
Where the earth meets sky.

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • AngelsExodus
    February 4
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    Very good haiku, loved the imagery.
    Amazing, keep writing.

  • imoutyo
    September 10, 2008
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    i love this. it's a fantastic write that reminds me of the haiku of basho


  • movedon
    July 31, 2008

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    "Where the earth meets the sky" What a vividly strong line you have here! Up at my cabin, when there is s storm, you can look across the lake and the treeline looks like the shore and the sky looks like another lake. I like this. Good work.

    Warmest,
    Mylee


    • Pingwen
      July 31, 2008
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      Thank you. It actually took me longer than you would think to come up with that line.


  • RawrSmileBabyPlz
    July 28, 2008
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    Amazing write i liked it alot. So describeing for something so small :]Great job. ..<3.. Shelly :]

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    July 26, 2008
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  • NotOfThisWorld
    July 23, 2008

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    I like it.

    I haven't written a haiku in a long time. The shortness of them was always an issue for me (lol, as though I need to tell YOU that I'm a talker).

    I write short poems all the time, just not that short.

    This is fantastic though, in all its quickness.
    Made me sigh, and think of floating off to the horizon, away from my cubicle here at work.


    • Pingwen
      July 23, 2008
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      Hehe. Thanks. I don't do haikus very much either, but this I felt I had to write down.


  • xXDarkChildXx
    July 19, 2008

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    You're really good at haikus compared to me. You paint a picture with wors. Oh, you are so talented :/ Makes me feel jealous. hehe Keep on writing, since you are so great at it. xXDCXx


  • darthdodo
    July 12, 2008

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    Ironically, as dreamy as this haiku sounds, it brings the reader back down to Earth. Simple but wonderfully emoted!


  • james119
    July 4, 2008

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    Thinking back to my roving days... you catch the sentiment in these words. It didn't matter much to me where I went; I just wanted to go, as does N in your haiku/senryu. Looks good to me.


    • Pingwen
      July 4, 2008
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      Thank you very much. I'd like to do some roving myself.


  • Celtic Legend
    June 26, 2008

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    great job though somewhat confusing. you mean the road but it seems as though you talk about the earth rather than that of the origonal thought. other than that, great job!

    • Pingwen
      July 4, 2008
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      To help clarify, the last line is describing the horizon, and "greener pastures" means a dream destination. I hope that is what you meant.

  • celadia
    June 18, 2008
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    I have a love of nature, too. well done.

1 - 22 of 22