Dawn of a song on an unknown air scale,
torture of a dream in azure eye of a naive,
replace winds on a path of extreme blankness,
candour clandestine engulfed in absolute freshness.
Stepping imperial substance of my thoughts intertwined,
haunting lightly in fields of love with heart scared,
images evoke memories of desires delicious,
shadow infinite in through heavens vast celestial.
Baker chosen for a star to the unique passion,
appointing a rocking engineer for an inspiration,
introvert the memories of these emerging roses,
to anoint mute senses, sedate in scents innocent.
Author notes
~spiritualangel~
Prompt: 5. Bakeries of desire
A contest entry
- PIF PROMPT CONTEST by penman.
700 points, ended June 19, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Big points...just write what you want by Canis Lupus.
4500 points, ended July 30, 2008, 84 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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It is a treasure of a poem
I'm sure there were may lines that spoke to each of
us uniquely....you can't help but read it slowly and
chew upon each words as you lead us through the lines
to the verses tenderly written and exposed!
well done....way to write!
ears/Seattle
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Such a powerful and meaningful piece... Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work.
-
_Yes_ Creativity / Originality
_Yes_ Imagery
_Yes_ Metaphor
_No_ Emotion
_No_ Reaction
_No_ Relatability
_Yes_ Fluency
_No_ Powerful Beginning
_No_ Powerful Middle
_No_ Powerful Ending
_Yes_ Connecting Ideas
_No_ Interesting Idea Behind Piece and/or a Message Behind Piece
_No_ Interesting In General (Does Not Bore) -
That was really, really good. I loved the way it flowed. Keep writing on. S.I.
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Wonderful
Very well done. Best of luck in the contest.
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