Faithfully

He always seems to storm into my life,
Touching him again and his scent upon my body and clothes was like going home and finding that everything I had left was exactly untouched and sound in its original place. There were no candles to illuminate the midmorning lovers, just the effervescent glow of a computer monitor sleeping. I wanted it though, I craved him like an addiction and I needed him the way a crack addicted junkie needs their fix. It's like starting all over again and everything comes back full circle. I remember each elongated limb, his piercing brown eyes, the defined shoulders and arms that once wound tightly to my body while we slept. The intensity of want purged itself from my heart and spun in circles like the ceiling fan. It seemed so surreal as we slept, I would turn midway through every hour to just to see if my vision was still there. If my beautiful man was really breathing behind me. To hear him laugh with me again brought a sense of hope that I had forgotten. I cleared him from this room, from this mind, and from this soul...but like any thief, he knows the flaws in even the most sound security system. I love this man, as little as he deserves it, and one of these days I'll do something right, but it won't be tonight because tonight I'll be sleeping alone in this bed remembering the man I knew to be so much greater than the rest of world could see. It is in this moment that I wish the unbreakable wrath of hope would forget me because I cannot spend the rest of my life wanting the one thing that has sacrificed me to a cause I'll never understand.