Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Look

count the stars
and look at me
look through the bars
and say what you see

for you, my love
the moon shines bright
so look above
into its light

hold me tight
and dont let go
it feels so right
and now you know

to know whats here
and what you need
you must hold it dear
and let it lead

remember, all my heart
it goes to you
for the world is an art
and you are the hue

you make it all perfect
its hard to explain...
but you have this effect
that washes away pain

i need you to look
and see what you should
and not what she took
because this is just the good

i love you so much
more than i show
with a shadows touch
the feeling grows

let me steal you away
to see the shooting stars
until it becomes day
to leave the world, forever ours

you are my bliss
my angel to be
and i so love this..
but you do not see

you are my dream
my glorious light
a precious beam
in my everlasting night

keep this dear
and never let it far
to wash away fear
like your beautiful star

see the milky way
and the way the world turns
its more than i can say
until your love returns

Author notes

i wrote this poem just now...
part of an epic of exploding feelings i guess

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • This is a very good piece of poetry. I liked the way it flowed. keep up the great job!!!!!!!!!


  • Nidaeah
    October 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Good write

    Thanks for this lovely piece. I just wanted to point out that in accordance with rule #1 "No using the word Love" I could not let you take anything but an honorable mention. If you want to see about reworking it, it may be worth it. Thanks, and it is still awesome!


  • Dragonheart1 gold member
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You are my bliss,My angel to be...but you do not see.
    How tue in life that sometimes we dont see or appreciate what we can have but want something more!

    return the favor?


  • Moonlightdragon gold member
    August 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    well said

    This speaks to me "keep this dear
    and never let it far
    to wash away fear
    like your beautiful star"

    Thanks for your entry
    Robert


  • perfectsunset gold member
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aww this was so deeply touching and beautifully written. I just loved it!! These lines hit me the most

    "remember, all my heart
    it goes to you
    for the world is an art
    and you are the hue"

    ---that was the most beautiful stanza in a poem such as this I have ever seen and so originally crafted.

    Thanks for entering & best of luck

  • OurxBeginning
    June 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very sweet dedication to your loved one. Your rhyming was simple, but it did flow well. Love is amazing and I liked how you combined nature. Thanks for entering and good luck.


  • Razor-Blade Romance
    June 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a sweet and sensual poem.
    I really feel the flow of this piece and the gentle passion burning inside you. I love the feel of such a gentle poem. Well Done !

1 - 7 of 7