I'm over it now
I think
That left footed wind-up-nut-kick
Patented
& Humbled
I wretch kneel pet your hand
My needs were not my own
Therefore, I own up to nothing
Pass me your favourite holiday
Like you passed me that malaria net
I just bet
You are worth every sweat-slept-shake
See my compass?
Spin, wander,
Grovel back, I should...
But back to what?
I want to say something now, to you
What was our love to the moment?
To the weather?
Shoved,
Underfoot & Moody
Hood up, I stretch walk these gutters
Another Mississippi lover
Was it a mud skipper?
A wave to Huck Finn?
That broke me free
Contretemps
By the mouthful.
I fought back success
With a four foot sunflower
While Errol Flynning dark hard wood floors
Tequila toasts raised to Mexican Vikings,
And star blackened Druids
Manhandeled:
I-love-I-love!
What with the tempo met, and all
I stall, again
Reptilian
Trowel me out
Like you troweled me in
Current roll
I wish I could decorate you forever
Marsh gas.
But no, instead, I thumb back to mother
And find her
in the form of some other, young girl
Wretched & Tight-minded
Charcoal-hairing-midnight, filtered
I love them to love you.
Outside,
I am
without-within
Deprived of the low flex
Upgrading,
and levied
Liable to love you
to death.
Author notes
Written December 31st, 2003
In a list
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1 - 9 of 9
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Guess what the best bit was?
You got it. My fave ending out the three so far. Keep writing those endings.
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"Contemporary pieces for you thinkers." Houston, we have a problem. I ain't a thinker. And I'm afraid I can't get my head around it. I kind of understand some bits (well, I've interpreted them in my own way anyway, lol) - and I even feel like I identify with some of it... but, at the end of the day - it's just too big and complex a piece for me. So blame it on my weak mind - but, I'm afraid you're not quite in my final 35. Sorry that you've had to wait so long just to be told that. It's due to It's due to sheer weight of numbers, mainly. And a few personal problems... but I won't go into that. If it's any consolation, I really like the way you've written it (even though I have no clue what most of it means), and I find it really interesting. And you sailed through round 1 of my judging. Although most people did, lol. Anyway, I think it's a really good poem. Thanks for entering, and giving my head a bit of a spin. Oh - and, in case you're interested, the winners will be announced shortly.
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It has the cunningly random flow of free-wheeling stream-of-consciousness writing which like a mountain strean flows among the boulders, suddely drops to gather itself together again, foaming a bit, eroding the far bank, undermining, soon to cause change, then taking off again to run full speed until another obstruction snags it...
This is not a representation of the meaning of this poem. It does a good job of that already, but it does provide the impression on first reading. -
i get the point of you writing this (i think) and for that alone -it's good. but it's a little confusing for a little girl like myself. i guess that explains your personality *shrugs*
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You know, everytime I read one of your pieces I always feel like I'm going under...into a long, deep trance where everything and nothing swims all around me in vague forms too dark to decipher...yet inches away from a wonder I can barely inhale into me. From the first, this started out like a single strumming guitar solo...just a steady throb, but then gestating into a full symphony, rich and full of starlight intensity before ending into a tiny hush...exquisite.
(Wake up, now, girl!
)
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this is one of the best love poems, well, ever.
There's a man I could send it to, but I doubt he'd get the message. Anyway, the point is, I feel it as though it is my own...excellent work, I look forward to more.
Always,
Amberlee -
Hello Horus8, I have to be honest, when I entered in to this poem, my goal was to send an applause for the payment (Wink..wink) of entering your contest! But you have no idea how pleased I am that this, with skilled use of poetic devices and lines breaks... adding a fresh twist to an old and over done subject relieves me to know ... this deserved it. I certainly enjoyed this... Best Regards, Liz
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ok
this was incredibly long and incredibly boring....just like other poems of yours....do u not know how to spice things up a little? Oh and by the way your poem need more than enough reality knocked into it. You call that a love poem? well, YOUR a hopeless romantic. -
Bright Burning
Love Horus8 Style.
Cutting, wicked, sexy and acute-angled vision -- all combined to create a unique fresh look at the inner self and What Drives Timmy to the Adult Shoppe (open 24/7).
You've got your typical rock'n'roll style imagery in full regalia here and I see the photos flip through my mind in rapid succession, each more revealing than the last.
Bright burning flaming words. Applause.
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