what i see in front of me
is a painting of our love
its most thoughtfull brushstrokes
mottled by hurried abstraction and inattenion
a person who hadn't see this masterpiece created
might not see it for what it is and pass it unknowingly
it has deep beatuty of its many scenes
but the layers of tarnish and misstreatmant
has left our painting black
but as the painter i see beyond the dark smears
to recall the hours that i attend to the details
and i wonder how i could have let this become so discolored
this painting that took my life to create
has lost its divnity in careless treatment
and even if i were to refine it
i fear you would always see it has it is today
so i paint a new masterpeace
this one will take some time
as i wont my brushstrokes to be are carefully placed
so,dont judge me on my past works
as i have never had such skill and inspiration.
Author notes
i did this poem for no reson but my own i was in love and me and him spent for ever talking about forever in eachother arms but forever was cut short to short for me but what can you do but move on
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Wow, this was a very interesting metaphor on love. I enjoyed this piece VERY much.
Just a couple of spelling mistakes:
a person who hadn't see this masterpiece created -->
a person who hadn't SEEN this....
as i wont my brushstrokes to be are carefully placed
as i WANT my brush strokes...
Thank you for your entry!
--DAMSELx
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Option number please?
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Love is like a painting, I really like that this is indeed art about art and life. You hit a soft spot since I'm a painter, haha. Thank you for entering and best of luck in my contest.
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The way you describe love comparing it to a piece of art is great. I know the feeling of talking with somoene about being with them forever, time can only heal. Keep it up.
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Sweet!
Love how you compare love to artwork in this one. The first six lines are epic. I especially liked lines six and seven. "A person who hadn't seen this masterpiece created might not see it for what it is and pass it unknowingly." That's a marvelous saying. You got potential, young poet.
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Capitalization is a must in such a beautiful piece of poetry.
I love the idea of a painting that seemed to fade, and lose it's divinity over time, to the point where you don't see it anymore. That's so creative. You did very well on this. Great job!
Line Number 3: thoughtful**
Line Number 4: inattention**
Line Number 7: beauty**
Line Number 8: mistreatment**
Line Number 14: divinity**
Line Number 16: has should be as
Line Number 17: You're in the process of painting it, so it should be, "So I will paint a new masterpiece,"
Line Number 19: want, not wont
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