I am a dusty guitar
happy in my attic corner,
merely out
of
tune.
A contest entry
- just a quickie ~ for those who love them... x by Lavender Butterfly.
400 points, ended June 17, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
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Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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such a very sweet poem...the guitar is merely out of tune and barely used, not broken! excellent work! and well done! just goes to show that just because you find something hidden in a corner that's all dusty and dirty, that doesnt mean that it's broken and needs to be fixed or thrown away...
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very nice.
like how you were able to draw forth the whole scene in just a few words. "dusty guitar," "attic corner." the rhythm fit perfectly, can almost hear the vibrating of the strings beneath my fingers.
love how beautiful and meaningful both on a concrete, literal level and also the potential to speak into a lot of situations, if choose to take it on a more metaphorical level, leaves that potential without chasing and therefore confining the poem to one.
"merely out / of / tune."
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Don't need fixing, just some fine tuning - I like it.
Marlene -
Short, beautiful though it’s out of tune
I mean really it's beautiful a wonderful description of an inanimate object. Though it's inanimate you managed to give it life within just a few words. For that I applaud you. Best of luck in the contest!
Oh and thanks so much for your very honest criticism. I will try to revise my poem Fire Fiery. Hopefully my revisions will pay off after... thanks again!
Have a blessed day!
-Blanche-
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How unique!! The entire thing has a nice flow and there's a light-hearted flow to this and an underlying deeper meaning than its surface...a very interesting write with musical metaphors...awesome. Good luck =]
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A wonderful little jewel of a write. So pleasing to the mind, ear, and soul. Very well done.
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so unique and creative... x
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