hot pavement
a butterfly flutters
in motor oil
Author notes
Chill out! I didn't put the butterfly in the oil and it was too late to help him. But I did honor him by recording his passing.
A contest entry
- Haiku (contest) by Stargaze.
750 points, ended July 10, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
No, tell me what you really think. . .
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is so sad. You certainly captured the pathos and the force of it all in this poem.
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Oh, that is the truth of it, isn't it? Poor animals who have to deal with our pollution! You did a good job with this!
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You have immortalized this unfortunate Butterfly with your poem and have done it very nicely. Well Done!
Dennis
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hot pavement-
buterfly flutters
in motor oil
Yes, you did remember the butterfly. You captured a scene out of life that you observed, and recorded it well within your haiku. Good L3, because the reader does not know what happens until the end. Thank you so much.
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sad but cool~
aww, this is so sad
poor butterfly!
by the way...you forgot to add a 't' to butterfly
but, this is very vivid! I can see this sad event happen clearly.
well done.
best of luck in the contest~
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