winter sunlight
on a headstone photo
my reflection moves
A contest entry
- Weekend Haiku-or into next week by azure85.
600 points, ended June 17, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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glad you are still oving my friend
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wooooooooah..!! u've kept some secret weapons huh?? thats awesome.. :-D
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oo.. this is fantastic.. again, very good image in my mind created by you
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I like what this piece is saying, but where is the pause you have been teching me to show with a dash. This coouulld easily have two meanings, I like how iit makes you think. Thanks for sharing UNT
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pause
Thanks - the pause is at the end of the first line, isn't it?
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Wow. I generally enjoy reading and trying my hand at haiku, but yours is yet more complex than the typical haiku. I think it takes a real (and good!) poet to only write in objective, plausible imagery, but so concisely and with such rich, emotional symbolism. This haiku shows a lot - both as a visual image and emotionally... I like the apparent antitheses here, the "winter sunlight", the contrast between a photograph's stillness and the motion of your reflection, between the weak light of a wintry day and your shadow... This is very insightful and beautiful, I'd go as far as to say it's one of the best haikus I've read. A well deserved gold indeed
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Whoa. That sent a shiver down my spine. I've always enjoyed playing around with haiku, but I've never really managed to make much of an art from it. This, though, was breath-taking in its simplicity.
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ohh!!..that is lovely!..since its summer right now..u combine the element of cool..as in the headstone..with the touch of warmth like the sunlight...the subtle transition from light to reflection is perfectly crafted by the well chosen words..the two contradiction..photo and reflection move...the image of something stationary..and the living movement of ur reflection is a good balance..nice job..and congrat on the gold
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Nice win!
I'm a bit new to Haiku. But rhyme that's my line. Haha! Thanks for the comment!
Regards,
Jennifer -
Nice win!
I'm a bit new to Haiku. But rhyme that's my line. Haha! Thanks for the comment!
Regards,
Jennifer -
Lovely connection here with the imageries of light, photo and reflection. They together give a real motion to this haiku. Well done Myron!
Mari
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Congratulations on your gold trophy. As usual, it is well earned. Your words are always right there to bring thoughts to the front of your mind...at least mine. Love your haiku's.
Joan
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Vivid imagery captured here, good tone for setting and good Aha moment in L3. Well Done!
Congrats on the gold trophy!
Dennis
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Well, like most of your haiku's, this is exceptional. Of course I can't leave a large critique as usual or be all that helpful, the format doesn't allow for much introspection, but what I can say is that the choice of "headstone photo" is moving. And how the sunlight reflects, moving the shadow...Very thoughtful. You are the strongest haiku writer on here, I think. From what I have seen of the format at least.
Very well done myron.
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Great observation... connects with the past, present and the future; the sun in winter mode makes a comment too just by being there. (I also like how "on a headstone photo" toggles between L1 and L3)
Marlene -
winter sunlight
on a headstone photo
my reflection moves
This is interesting, the sunlight of winter across the heastone, the photo of remembrance and the reflection of one who is there. Very thought provoking, and the reader can think of many things. Thank you so much.
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excellent~
ooo! I really like this
the last line really brings brings it home.
best of luck in the contest!
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