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In with the new

Don't you know what you are doing to me?
I feel like im being replaced
Everytime i see your face
And dont tell me this is all for the better
when i know you are doing this for yourself

Reminisking back when were together I couldn't be happier
I remember our first kiss, when you whispered in my ears and  said "I love you"
When our lips met, I knew you were the one

But now things have changed
We have grown further apart

But then you struck your final blow
You said that we weren't working out
that we were going to be happier with other people

I didn't meant to hurt you
but when i saw you with her I just couldn't control myself
my anger took control of me
As you were walking down the street
If i knew what would happen next
I would have just left
But i didnt see the car
Until it hit you...
But im sorry that i pushed you

Author notes

this is poem is not based on facts!!! so dont think i pushed a guy infront of a car!!!!!!

A contest entry

do u think this story could happen in reality...??????

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • sonae
    January 25

    Edit | Reply
    Lol I wish I could push my ex into a car and he will die(not really) I just wish he would go away I still love him but he's in love with my best friend


  • August Starlight silver member
    January 25

    Edit | Reply
    WOW!
    I love it, especially the twist ending. At least you didn't really do it but I'm sure you felt like you wanted to sometimes, heh.
    Great write, thank you for entering my contest.
    =]


  • Lsh-x
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, interesting ending! You pushed him? Wow.

    This really captured me, and I was lost in your words.

    Well done! Goodluck x


  • SomeonesToySoldier gold member
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm interesting twist there at the end. Not what I expected but still not bad although it might help if you broke that last stanza up. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


  • peregrin
    August 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    LOL
    I really like it!
    Very good,
    and yes, I do think this story could happen in reality.
    Good luck in my contest!


  • BarbedWireButterfly
    July 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. You have I think one or two spelling mistakes and you're missing a word but that's all. This didn't really connect too much to the topic. It was there but I was hoping for a much larger connection, it was a nice poem though. Anyway, thank you for entering and good luck.


  • spideracer gold member
    July 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Maybe It could

    Two people can love each other so much and yet be the worst together as well, your poem shows both sides of a relationship. like both can be bad to each other. You've got this as personal, did that really happen? I'm hoping it's just how you felt at the time. The ending gave your poem that extra edge. Well done.

  • Hovels 2
    June 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. The beginning of the poem made me think of how much guys suck for easily replacing girls with new girls. But, as I kept reading on, I felt bad for the two parties. How the relationship basically ended for both of them. Then at the very end, I was just shocked. That was a turn of events. This poem is not one sided at all. It's not one person being the victim while the other person is the vicdictive one. It's a poem about two people hurting one another. Both playing the victims and the vicdictive ones.

    So sad.


  • JustFallingApart
    June 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow i think a twisted side of me just slid out cause when i read the ending i laughed...i hope this isn't personal cause then later on id feel bad that i laughed, nice write

1 - 9 of 9