O God
I feel like my thoughts
have been trapped
inside the worlds washing machine
enslaved in societies soap
of what they believe is right
someone has thrown in
too much bleach this time
my opinions are now washed out
the water is too hot
scorching my mind
the rinse is too cold
numbing my beliefs
spinning till i am ragged
gasping for breath
so hard to make decisions
when there's only one way to turn
God, take me out quick!
dry me with your brilliance
hold me FAST
with your clothes pins of certainty
that you promise to take me off
then wear me every day
and in the clear mirror
showing what I look like
when we are close
I feel like my thoughts
have been trapped
inside the worlds washing machine
enslaved in societies soap
of what they believe is right
someone has thrown in
too much bleach this time
my opinions are now washed out
the water is too hot
scorching my mind
the rinse is too cold
numbing my beliefs
spinning till i am ragged
gasping for breath
so hard to make decisions
when there's only one way to turn
God, take me out quick!
dry me with your brilliance
hold me FAST
with your clothes pins of certainty
that you promise to take me off
then wear me every day
and in the clear mirror
showing what I look like
when we are close
Author notes
We are so beautiful and the world is right when we are close to God.
A contest entry
- Emotions! by Mistress Masquerade.
900 points, ended June 17, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - emotional,indescribale,something that may have happened to you. by Jade.Butterfly.
300 points, ended July 18, 2008, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Back to Where I was...... by the tempest.
475 points, ended July 27, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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i love this. especialy the "too much bleach"
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I'm not usually a religious person, but the emotions in this poem are so passionately expressed that I cannot help but be enthralled.Well done!
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Nicely done!
Very well written!!



Gl in contest
-Mandi -
Haha loved the metaphors used! really entertaining! Keep up the good work!

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Bandit appreciation!
Thank you Kalamina for this wonderful write and adding it to Bandits reading list
~Lilac


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I like your metaphors. I liked "society's soap of what they believe is right" Everyone seems to be on a soap box.
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I really love the way you have constructed such a beautiful poem based around the most mundane of items (and frustrating ones at times
)... this is a lovely dedication and you have done amazingly well at pulling it off - although I do agree with quantumsurveyor about the little bits in need of editing... thank you so much for sharing!
Keep writing
Polly

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I am sure He is listening, and bubbling for us, until the time is right, sympathetically and cleverly woven and a very enjoyable read,


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I enjoyed the thought
of such comparisons. Almost in a sense a prayer asking for god's grace and blessings. Thanks for the share.

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Very raw emotions in the poem, and I like the extended metaphor of the world like a washing machine. A nicely written cry for help from God... Best of luck in the contest!



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I see a connection between a Christian's beliefs, and a....washing machine?
Never thought I'd see that combination!
Creative write none-the-less. I have to agree with Lkm, I'm not very religious, and the religion I do have....most people don't agree with. But this was indeed penned well, and it did catch my imagery making system...thingie. You know, that thing that helps you create pictures in yoru head?
Keep penning, Poet.
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An amusing yet pertinent prayer. Couple of possessives that you might care to adjust: societies soap could be better expressed as society's soap; worlds washing machine should read world's washing machine. Nicely penned.
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Im not religeous myself, so this is not normally the sort of poem i would enjoy reading, but i liked the way you have this penned. Nice job, and thankyou for sharing this with us. Good Luck in the contest
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This is a unique poem, I like the first two stanzas, about in the worlds washing machine, I immediately thought of "Brain-washing machine" would be more accurate. great job on this! and yes we can be cleansed and renewed when we walk in the light of God.
Love & Light
Debbera


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I may not be religious at all, but I still enjoyed your write. The imagery was very unique and fit perfectly with what you were portraying. Great write.
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