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Woman Alone

NAWomanAlone.jpg woman alone image by metaladje

 

Cold concrete chills me

to the broken bone

                of my being

 

Calm light cannot console

as in the shadows I sit;

a sombre soul

 

[A heart not heard]

 

Given in gentle grace

to those who call upon

my care and comfort

 

Yet no contentment

comes my own weary way;

left to wander in confusion

 

[A spirit not satiated]

 

So in supplication I bow

my burdened brow

     and breathe sorrow

 

Pray bless me with

       strength of spirit

to search my place

 

[A path of peace]

 

For my road remains

             a mystery,

rendering misery upon me

 

And my soul mate

a mirage of mere yearning,

leaving me longing

 

As still I remain...

        ...a woman alone

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: Pic

(love the pic, and the title of it so used both)

Artist credit: http://photobucket.com/image/fantasy%20woman/metaladje/fantasy/NAWomanAlone.jpg?o=43

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 47 of 47
  • Thomas Scott gold member
    July 7

    Edit | Reply

    Hurts.

    Noun and verb, both.
    Read aloud, this echos from the emptiness it describes.
    Thanks for sharing this.

  • chiefmac
    July 3
    Edit | Reply
    What a lovely penned work. This pain stretches beyond the picture, beyond the words, to catch the reader by the emotions. The crashing hearts breathe through stabbing darkness to smash the light in the spirit. Mystery grasp misery to absorb the image of desolation carved from the pulsing heart left unclaimed for loves care.


  • Valley Girl silver member
    June 27

    Edit | Reply
    Fantastic write! So much pain in these words. Congratulations on winning the Gold! ♥


  • ladyreece81
    June 23
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful poem, good job.
  • absolutegem
    June 22
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is amazeing


  • Faithbound gold member
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    I so enjoyed the deepness contained in these words. Truly a well written piece you have here. Loved the ending. Very deserving of a shiny gold. Well done and congratulations.

  • mysticstorm gold member
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    How wonderfully deep and heartfelt...I relate to this so well and often wonder when the time will come that I know longer feel so alone...you are so giving and kind, comfort shall find you dear soul...beautifully written as always...congrat's on the well deserved Gold...
    Blessings,
    sis


  • arpine1995
    June 19
    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    This is a beautiful poem!!!

  • PoeticSymphony
    June 19

    Edit | Reply
    INCREDIBLE!! wow what an inspirational poem. wow i think you are such an amazng poet...wow...i keep saying wow..i am mezmerised...your poetry is amazing. really good. i hope to write poetry as good as you when i am older. wow! i hope to read more of your potry soon. and congrats to winning gold. wow!

  • crimsondew silver member
    June 19
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on gold!

  • luna-midnight gold member
    June 19
    Edit | Reply
    yay! gold
    congrats

  • Sailor Ptolema gold member
    June 19

    Edit | Reply
    excellent!
    wow wow wow.
    bloody brilliant!!!!!!!
    i have no words
    so great
    and the last lines are sensational!
    this is totally gold in my eyes
    best of luck in the contest jacks!!!!!!!~~


  • Weltt gold member
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    This is fabulous. heart felt and tinged with such sadness but still as beautiful as ever. I could hear sorrow echoed down the halls. well done and best of luck!!


  • made with love
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    Ahhh how I've missed your beautiful words (LOL). Wonderful capture of the longing and burdens culled from the prompt... Handled with gentleness and respect... Well done.

  • Rockerstar
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. I know how that feels...and particularly when you get to that age when everyone around you starts getting boyfriends. And your just there...flowing along with things...being the good one, doing everything you can for everyone and getting nothing in return. And you sit and you wonder when it will be your turn but until then you continue holding yourself high....
    Thanks for that poem. :-)


  • vanessa reen gold member
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    This is absolutely beautiful. The words whispered words of yearning and longing, and at the same time seems to scream out the very same thing. Well done, this was such a great read. All the best for the contest.


  • PerfectImperfection
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    *sigh* An immaculate piece of heart, sullen and torn. Beautifully penned lines, bare and essential to the core of depth surging within. Pained, and so very well spoken; this is something that just screams to be felt... I was listening to "My Tourniquet" as I read - and it just fit with it all almost too well in my mind. You have a genuine soul of beauty, too much so to have felt such...

    "For my road remains
    a mystery,
    rendering misery upon me

    And my soul mate
    a mirage of mere yearning,
    leaving me longing"

    That hit this reader with such a force... Straight to the heart of hearts. Wonderfully penned my kindred spirit.


  • rbruce gold member
    June 17
    Edit | Reply
    A heart wrenching write with wonderful imagery and flow. Great take on the prompt. Very well done.


  • stompsalot
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    very heart wrenching write. i can really feel this poem through your words. you have such a great talent, excellent work. best of luck in the contest.
    blessings and hope *stomps


  • poppa silver member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    Great write.....very sad and touching ....good luck in the contest...

  • Ennigma
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    loved especially these 3 lines at the end "And my soul mate

    a mirage of mere yearning,

    leaving me longing" ..you said something so well..they way I feel so often..incredible write here


  • phantasyintrigue-x silver member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    How sorrowful...

    "to the broken bone of my being" Why not "to my being's broken bone?" Just a suggestion...personally, I prefer that, but it's up to you.

    "a heart not heard"
    It's simple but brilliant...really makes your point across.

    Oh yes, and I adore the word 'supplication'--it's so vulnerable.

    good luck!!


  • runewalker
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    some mirrors reflect the scenes and souls around us. Some move though planes to open a searing window in the heart of being. I know which this is, Jax.

    A palm, open, undulating star of warmth held close. Not as far as convincing despairs compel.

    so as many clapping hands as available because this is real.

    hiding in plain site.

  • Nighttime angel
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    so much sadness in this piece. my heart broke while reading this. never will you remain alone, I won't let that happen. this poem tugged at my heart extremely hard. excellent job with the prompt.

    good luck


    kat


  • Lucy. gold member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    Oh! So sad and lonely and wanting.
    Beautifully written, well done.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    You will never be alone as long as I am around hon! So sad...*sigh*


    Love and peace always,
    mj.


  • perfectsunset
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this was so beautifully touching sis. I loved its sincerity throughout. Very emotionally expressed, and full of deep thoughts of feeling alone and being alone.

    Amazing write & best of luck

  • jcat gold member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    You broke my heart with this one..... So incredibly lovely but filled with such angst!!! Very well done and best wishes


  • Mark McNulty
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice job, Jacks. The pain and yearning is so deeply present and human in this piece, yet there is a small element of strength and power in it. For me, it did not have the feel that she is about to crumble under the burden of this existence.... but rather that she carries the pain and still fights on, like a very reluctant warrior. Anyway, I got a lot out of it and very much enjoyed it. Not sure if the contest has been judged yet or not, but good luck with it!


  • Rovingone gold member
    June 16
    Edit | Reply
    Very chilling, and painful. It carries the true feeling of the image beautifully.


  • faderman1959 silver member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    Love that has grown cold! One of the saddest and lonliest things in the world! You described this perfectly! Well done! Good luck!


  • secberm
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    Well, now... And here I was in a playful mood. No smart remarks comes to mind. Actually, one does... "... a woman alone"/"a dog with a bone" but no... I won't do it. Girl.... You know I just 'LUBS' you! Write on, my pretty....

    Dez


  • CinfullyDelicious
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    brilliant sis, your muse is already feeling rested from the holiday I think and just firing off all guns in this write

    very deep and emotional and a gold winner in my eyes



    Cin


  • Pure Thought silver member
    June 16
    Edit | Reply
    only gold here.


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    This is outstanding, you have used the picture and words to perfection. The subtle use of alliteration enhances the theme of each stanza.
    All the best in the contest...Sue


  • luna-midnight gold member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    aww wow, now what sorrowful emotion you string in your words, lovely job with the pic and good luck
    take care
    stephanie


  • LadyDementia gold member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is stunning hunni, a beautifully penned piece. Your tired muse pens well Best of luck in the contest hunni


  • azlyn gold member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    As always a joy to read your wonderful poems! so much feeling and such imagery! I inhale your grace Sister!

    Love~
    Az


  • Carolina Moon silver member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    So good to see your words again my dear! This is beautiful as always. I wish you all the luck in the contest. (Hope you are well)


  • KayJay46 gold member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    Ahhh how I've missed your beautiful words (LOL). Wonderful capture of the longing and burdens culled from the prompt... Handled with gentleness and respect... Well done.
    Ken


  • crimsondew silver member
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    As still I remain...

    ...a woman alone

    These lines are just great....a wonderful conclusion....to a beautiful poem!


  • Cerulean gold member
    June 16
    Edit | Reply


    Fantastic penning.


  • crimsondew silver member
    June 16
    Edit | Reply
    All the best!
  • Nighttime angel
    June 16
    Edit | Reply
    http://photobucket.com/image/fantasy%20woman/metaladje/fantasy/NAWomanAlone.jpg?o=43

    here is your prompt.. if you don't like it just let me know. you have one more chance

    kat
1 - 47 of 47