Merging
of soft petals
as heartbeat’s sigh as one
restoring love’s promise again
kissing
In a list
A contest entry
- Cinquain by Yemassee.
554 points, ended June 21, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Beautiful poem, though I was caught up on "heartbeat's" Heartbeats maybe?
I think it's the word "merging" that gives the cinquain it's cue and makes its imagery stronger. Merging, of course, as coming together, but also of two lips touching...softly as the petals.
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restoring of loves promise again, always a good thing, and generally a tender moment. Well done!
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This is so lovely, and as the title says, very tender moment. Made me smile.
Mari
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a very delicate touch to the heartstrings this is...comes to mind...two lovers finding love once agian...touching and soft cinquin...beautifully presented
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14 words, 22 syllables and one tender message that makes my heart yearn for yesterday. Best wishes in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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This is one to treasure!
Aesthete
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Begining with the 'merge' and ending with the 'kiss'
this is awesome lol
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What I like, well, one thing I like, is how the "soft petals" can refer to both the oneness of the sighs and for the restoring promise in the kiss. Your cinquain is romantic, tender and hopeful and speaks of that unity of body, mind and spirit.
Thanks for entering, it is a beautiful poem.
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Lovely write....the gentle touch of a simple kiss...~sigh~ ...dont know enough about the form to comment.... good luck in your contest..
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aww this is so sweet!!
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