Tidying my life, I open the drawer that holds things unseen, untouched for months
I pick up a forgotten object, and notice a smell from a time I knew once
My senses paralyzed for a moment, I’m smothered by a drug, un-moving
The world of now evaporates in a split-second, I forget what I’m doing
Then every neuron sparks! Charged into life by the lightning of recollection
Forking endlessly; images, words, feelings, sensations, in every direction
Re-living it all, things we did, things we said, a tear forms in the eye of my soul
For I had pushed these memories into a corner, repressed, compressed, a black hole
And now it explodes in my mind, every memory at once, the good and the bad
But lightning fades quickly as it flashed, and now I don’t know, am I happy? Or sad?
Author notes
The contest prompt 'explosions of the mind' got me thinking about when the mind can be at it's most vivid. Apart from dreaming, I remembered how we can often see a familiar sight, or hear a familiar sound, or, as in this case, smell a familiar smell, which then takes us to a place in our past. That's where the title 'trigger' comes from. I wasn't thinking of a particular occasion when writing, but the ones i do remember experiencing were all linked to people in my past who were close to me. I hope it makes sense to you all
A contest entry
- Dynamite by StormGoddess.
700 points, ended June 22, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme and Flow part 8 Memories - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended August 23, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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it was very very beautiful! i loved it. it seems to me to be about drug abuse..... and then the way you feel when you come down. the only thing i would change about it is that it seems like more of a story than a poem....... try to make it more lines??
other than that it was fabulous. -
YAY!
~*~AWESOME~*~ I loved it very much! A great write indeed! Planning on reading more of your work very soon! Hope that they are as indescribably awesome as this one was! Again, aweome, awesome write. Made me think quite a bit! Check out my poems and such if you want to! I love leaving comments and then getting some back! (It's like feedback on ebay.....lol) Thanks for sharing!
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Wow I love how you began and it got even better to the end Fantastic piece here!
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life is full of little shockers when we get a whiff of the past it could remind you what you had what you lost and it mixes all these emotions leaving you some how torn its painful to disscuss sometimes thats why were all good at putting them away in som
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its good
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wow this is very good! I really love the sudden flash-back explosion. lol. the overall image is spectacular! the first three or four lines were especially great. well not the absolute best, but good,. the middle is the best. you did a really good job with this!
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Thank you for your entry in the contest, an interesting poem. We feel that your line lengths are too long and as a result the flow of the poem suffers and you have used slant rhyme in a couple of places.
All the best in the judging.
Sue and Jeff
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oh wow,, this is so pretty.
its mystical, sad, and thought provoking at the same time.
i can relate to it on many levels. especially the fact of smelling something to bring back emotions, that is a definite thing ive had happen way to many times in my life!
and afterwards,its always that awkward fleeting feeling of uncertainty, which you do a great job of capturing in your poem, especially the last line!
wonderful write! -
wow, excelent use of rhyme, great flow, and a very alive and electric use of language. I was thoroughly entranced by this from start to finish!
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Enjoyable Read
I like the imagery and metaphor you used here and the meter isn't half bad either. It fit the prompt in my opinion and I enjoyed reading it immensely. ~mandie~ -
Love the ending, in my mind, it made the whole poem. You know, its funny, but I didn't even realize it was rhyme until I read the end! I know that is so strange...I guess I was so captivated with the whole metaphor of the storm of thoughts and emotions that I barely noticed the form. This was a really good poem, I can see why it won a trophy. Must have been a great contest. Good job!
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WOW!
this is cool! i like it alot! tho your lines were pretty long, it flowed perfectly well! keep penning kays!
AWESOME
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This is very good. It is fitting to the prompt and I like it. Almost as if looking into the mind of... Well could be a lot of people at this point. Cool. Thank you for entering and good luck. Storm
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note...
NOte: forgot to say, i found it hard to compress everything i wanted into 10 lines, and i know each line is a bit long! i tried to make up for it by at least having the same number of syllables in each (more or less!)
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