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Neon Liquid

Missing image

Neon liquid, feather lite

transparent beauty crystallised
Silk vivid colours bursting bright
Spinning mosaics, their shapes disguised.

Jade of green penetrating blue
On fragile wings they twist and fly
Citrus butterflies, psychedelic hue
Then like sweet dreams they fade and die.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • monkeyspuppet
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very rythmic. I love the wording you used in this peice. IT has the feel of a lullaby. Simply lovely


  • moon2u
    September 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    how creative
    not only are the words wonderful
    but the colours add so much more
    congrats on the silver
    well deserved
    moon2u


  • spilt ink
    June 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That was really good I loved how it flowed and how it was easy to grasp what you were talking about. Just returning the favor S.I.


  • toomysterious
    June 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is totally beautiful, multi-colored lines, lovely picture, great description. WoW! Congrats on the Silver.


  • Folklor
    June 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    o wow! this was just wow great rhyme structure it flowed beautifully and the rich language blew me away the images were so full of depth and meaning this was pefect exactly wheta I was looking for. and you used one of my top 10 buzz words i was looking for psychedelic hues. so well done this was spot on.


    • Princess Perdue gold member
      June 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your lovely comments, I can't tell you how many times I did an edit on this lol...think I changed it over ten times.

      Shaz xx


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    June 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow sis! This is amazing. Every write you pen is always so full of wonderful imagery and this is no exception!
    I like the way you changed the colours in your writing too, Very effective
    All the best with this.
    Gaylene


  • rainyday woman silver member
    June 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Not quick enough,
    Love you too sis.


  • rainyday woman silver member
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very colorful piece my dear sister in more ways then one. I really like your take on the prompt. Good luck my dear .
    *sneeks into Shaz's closet and quietly slips off with her shoes*
    Love you dear Sister
    Cheryl


    • Princess Perdue gold member
      June 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hang on...just locking closet door Thank you dear sis I've only changed it 240 times...still messing with it now lol

      Love ya loaaaads!

      Shaz xx

1 - 12 of 12