I saw the sweat pearl on your lip,
it danced there like a sweet temptation
and my tears fell like raspberries when
I tasted the saltiness of your tongue.
Your hands were like butterflies
fluttering over gentle as diamond skin,
making me shine like a star lost
in a milky way of beautiful doubts.
I grasped those curls like they were a lifeline,
anchoring me to the spot of the happening
and I fell into your blood like a mermaid
falls into the sea - absolute abandon.
The rain was our harbor and the sun
was our demise, you never thought I'd let
it all come crashing down in filthy love
with just our first kiss.
But that kiss wrapped up any figments
and I knew that my body fit into the curve
of yours, like a puzzle we'd completed,
I just knew we went together like apples and bananas.
Author notes
Green would be my favorite color.
or lellow.
It talks about the moment of the first kiss between new lovers, I hope you like it!
A contest entry
- A Moment in Forever by Nephlim.
600 points, ended June 16, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be brutally honest!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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bravo
A lyrical and nifty piece of poetry, and, oh, yes, sooo very romantic! Liked it a ton! bravo... bravo... bravo...
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this is the most sensuous poem i have ever read. it was lush, and erotic, and seductive.
and.. my other thoughts, i'll tell you directly
love,
zach
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This was sweet. Unlike the poet who last commented, I like the last line. It was an interesting combination of describing how two people can have chemistry. Was the apple supposed to symbolize like the apple that Eve bit out of or just a name of a fruit you threw into the poem?
Either way, this expressed lots of emotion and I thought it was a beautiful write. Best of luck in the contest.
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Thank you for following the rules! ^-^
Interesting title that went along with the last line, which is actually the only line of the poem that I don't like
it's cute, but the whole rest of the poem didn't have the same atmosphere as the last line. But I'm definitely over-looking that because you described a lovely moment perfectly and sweetly ^-^. Good luck
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Sorry you didn't enjoy it - I'm in a silly mood today and wanted to spice up the poem with a bit of a twist.
But thank you for overlooking<3
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