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Sky and earth checkers

                You've gone somewhere I can not find you,
                you've gone beyond the stars.
                I know your looking down on me,
                Because I'm looking up to you.
                In the night time sky, the stars seem to dance,
                Then I see something, I have never seen before.
                They form a checker board, with checkers all in a row.
                Then I know you want to play, another checker game.
               
                With you now in the heavens, nothing is the same.
                not even a checker game.
                I really miss you, I really feel all alone.
                And still we are connected, through a simple game of checkers.
                You in the sky, me on the ground.
                And together, with the help of the stars,
                we can play sky and earth checkers together, forever.

               

Author notes

In memory of my grandpa who died 5 years ago as of November 25, 2008.

the tmnts sister




A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • C J Weatherholt
    May 9

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    Very very sad. I miss my greatgrandma more than words can even describe and its been over ten years now. Wonderful write thank you for entering my contest.


  • SubKitten
    April 27

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    This is very sweet and emotional. The flow is rather choppy, but the emotional aspect comes through very strongly and carries the piece along. You told a very wonderful story with this piece.


  • Symphony
    February 21

    Edit | Reply
    What a beautiful thought this is-

    of having somone up above and you being down below, but the space between you providing areas for this game of checkers as you send signs to one another.

    favourite part was,

    " Then I see something, I have never seen before.
    They form a checker board, with checkers all in a row. "

    beautiful connection to have... thanks for entering


  • sanguigno
    February 14

    Edit | Reply
    wow... i have something kind of like this so i understand it. though its not a game of checkers i do get what your saying in it

    thanks for entering


  • LunaAmara
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    This is really nice. I like the connection you have with your grandfather.
    Full of sentiment.
    I really like it.


  • Luciferschild
    January 26

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    a good poem but it seems as if you couldve added something to it, it seems incomplete. thank you for entering and good luck


  • Dovina
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    This was a beautiful dedication to your grandpa. By the ways of it, it sounds as if he liked to play checkers quite a bit.

    nice flow and use of words.

    thanks for your entry


  • Walls-within
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    This really is a beautiful poem. It has a lot of heart and soul. Really is a beautiful poem. I love the way you tell your emotions is really great! Alright, best of luck!


  • Scion
    October 27, 2008

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    ah. the heavanly dreamer. I would like to know why you chose this as your favorite, as it is creative and open to possibility. When writing, be careful not to contradict yourself in the poem. For example,
    "You've gone somewhere I can not find you,
    you've gone beyond the stars.
    I know your looking down on me,
    Because I'm looking up to you."

    Here, you say that you cannot find the person, yet in the next lines you then say that you are looking up at them. Be sure to create a story out of your poem, so that it becomes more cohesive and more genuine and not contradictory. I do like the substance of this, though. It ends up being very wonderful and acceptable in the end. Cheers, Scion


  • Immortal Obscurity gold member
    October 7, 2008

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    Indeed, this is a lovely write. You have penned this with a maturity far beyond your twelve years... I hope there's nothing too personal here.

    Thanks for entering


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    October 4, 2008

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    A nice write of connection. Thank you so much for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper


  • satan-
    July 14, 2008

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    Aww, its sweet and sad, but you get a tone of acceptance in the end. Very beautiful imagery, that's for sure. Thanks for entering!


  • NickelleteXninja
    July 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this was very interesting
    you def. had my full attention

    thanks for entering


  • PonyPride
    June 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    before i read this please enter your AN

1 - 14 of 14