Hating all that surrounds me not be able to do what i want!
can't do nothing
im locked up inside!
i hate that i can't be with friends!
no freedom!
no life!
but all just to be locked up inside!
my heart aches for that i can not be saved..
all locked up in my room
isolating myself from the real world
the sadness i feel just cut deep down inside
just to feel the real love today..
A contest entry
- Dangerous Emotions by donttellmeyoucare.
600 points, ended June 28, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please tell me what you think thanks =]
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i like the detials you have used in this poem, it really sucks that im an adult and still all locked up inside, thats how relationships are sometimes
keep up the wonderful writing
ɛiɜ ~Amy -
Critically: The first line is hard to understand. The second line contains a double negative, which makes that line mean that you have to be doing something. line 11: cuts instead of cut? (your choice) You might want to work on some capitalization.
Casually: Nice topic. I hate being grounded as well, but if you get a good book... you can go anywhere. Of course, there's pen and paper or just pure imagination... one's bedroom as a room aboard a ship and you're at sea for treasure. Maybe if you pretend something for a bit, knowing that it's not reality, then everything will go faster. I hope that you feel better. -
That was exactly what I felt last summer.But after a while I purposely isolated myself.I was VERY different before that.But, hey I turned out alright for the most part.I may not be all that sane any more but I've changed for the better.At least I think so.
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wow
wow! lot of emotion!!!! i can feel it... making me sad!!!
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Great poem. I feel your anger and sadness. Thanx for entering the contest and goodluck to you in the contest.
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