This optimism has begun to fade
with all the pain I’ve seen these days
My own selfish ambitions being the cause
Show me the way to you
Show me your beautiful face
Release this horrid addiction
I need hope
I need healing
Bring me the stars tonight
A contest entry
- AP's Best Prewrites by lowercase prelude.
800 points, ended July 22, 2008, 90 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think?
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
It's real. No hidden secrets, not pity parties... it's real life. And you did an amazing job at it.
-
Love It.
This is beautiful.
-
I love this,it's so good.
-
This poem is so real! I love it so much! Keep up the good work ♥
-
Beautiful write. I enjoyed this immensely. Well done!
-
*throws stars in your direction*
A beautiful write. Saddening, but I really hope you win the contest. Amazing, and wonderul!!!!!!
Warmest,
Mylee -
I love this poem. I can totally relate. The last line is my favorite. Amazing job!
-
very nicely penned. it portrays a sense of longing to discover ones self and "which way to go"
-
I felt so much of the writer in this , and really appreciated that..I like a personal touch in poetry, that we dont have to be afraid to admit to faults..maybe that we need a hand to hold
Very well written, glad I stopped in to read
Cindy
-
Hello Stop.The.Bleeding. Insightful write, "My own selfish ambitions being the cause". We are the cause of our own rise or fall, and the root of it all is within or on the outer depending on where we want to go, up or down. What I do disagree with you on, and I mean no offence, is that you need to go to the stars, they won't be brought to you, of course you may believe differently, and I mean no offence by expressing my own belief on this.
I also checked out your home page. My condolences on the loss of your friend (Britton), as with your little sister (Lena-Bug). I wish you well on your journey.
My regards.
-
aww sweet poem!
i liked this alot!
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
