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The Broken Girl

The tears are there
Though I am the only one who knows that
The salty fluids still remain

There was a day many years ago
That the tears did not exist
But that day was so long ago
I can not remember it at  all

Though the public sees a happy girl
That is not true
My fragile soul is breaking
More each second

 

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • quantumsurveyor
    June 29, 2008

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    A splendid piece of deeply felt free verse that encompasses those intimate happenings that touch us individually and, often, remain unsolved.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    June 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I truly can relate, I never truly show how I feel, well not to many people and not very often. I just feel it's showing weakness, so put on many faces, to hide who the real person is deep inside.


  • Hetha gold member
    June 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Makes me want to hug the narrator to makes the tears go away, for whatever reason they are there to begin with.

  • piccola silver member
    June 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    aww this is so sad. hope it isn't true.


  • toomysterious
    June 25, 2008

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    The flow on this seems a little rough, line and meter not matching but the content is one many of us are familiar with. The outward appearance does not always mesh with the insides and that is why we are poets after all. Thank you for sharing.


  • Darkwell
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is a great write about holding in emotions an im guilty of doin that sometimes too

    short but strong an to the point Well Done!


  • Kathleen a Nazarene
    June 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Touching!

    This poem is a perfect match for the picture. I understand these feelings. One of my challenges in life is dealing with a Mood Disorder. I can barely live with my depressive cycles & so I do my best to always present a happy face & cheerful demeanor when in public or in someones presence. I'm a very sensitive soul & always feel like I'm going to break! Father made me very resilient though & I'm still forging forward. Well done poet!


  • 2lullabyhaven
    June 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    So transparent, yet innocent at the same time lol good luck in the contest lol


  • Lady Australis silver member
    June 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    well done sis
    your good at these
    i love you


  • K-GyaL
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow.
    i like it.
    nice and deep.
    reminds me of myself....
    i can really feel the emotion in the last stanza.
    great job! =)


  • DeGraw
    June 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Ditto

    A blast from the past.

  • DeGraw
    June 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Ditto

    A blast from the past.

  • Nighttime angel
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this I can relate to also.. especially the last stanza, particularly the last 2 lines. wondering in my mind, and heart if it will ever end. excellent take on the prompt. you brought this picture to life.

    good luck

    kat


  • maralisa silver member
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The tears are there
    Though I am the only one who knows that
    The salty fluids still remain

    There was a day many years ago
    That the tears did not exist
    But that day was so long ago
    I can not remember it at all

    Though the public sees a happy girl
    That is not true
    My fragile soul is breaking
    More each second wow this is so deep full of the sadness of a broken heart with raw emotions running like a river good luck in the contest

  • Nighttime angel
    June 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    http://photobucket.com/image/sad/hot_stuff9/sad-1-3.jpg?o=81

    if you don't like this one.. let me know. you have one more chance.

    kat

1 - 15 of 15