*
Riding on giddy-up breaths
tiny orbs
in a swirl, upon swirls of paisley prisms
etched in green yellow blue and reds
~~afloat~~
glistening
in ghostly silhouettes against the twilight skies
backdrops mirrored in twinkling reflections
Parachuting silky, all aflutter
on a roller-coaster breeze
in downward drifts
*
~~drifts~~
*
~drifts~
*
till kissed by the dew lit ground
encores
of silent implosions
Alas,
(sigh)
rainbows of teary halos
*
A contest entry
- Quickie: Bubbles by Folklor.
600 points, ended June 16, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
'Riding on giddy-up breaths
tiny orbs
in a swirl, upon swirls of paisley prisms
etched in green yellow blue and reds'
your poem was like a fast moving journey which is what i was searching for! you are the first to describe the all important but short lived life of the bubble and your subtle personification where it lives enough to die upon the dewy grass is very heartfelt.
the abouve description was my favorite becasue i had a list of words inside my head that i was looking for and you picked the top word that I really wanted to see which was prisms. they have something magical for me and everytime i read the word that emotion hits me and the colour you expressed was fantastic. well done

