Slipping, Falling,
She can't get up.
Slipping, Falling,
She finds it hard to stop.
Pushing, Hurling,
She tries so hard.
Pushing, Hurling,
Can know one see she's died?
Dripping, Hanging,
Her body like a doll.
Dripping, Hanging,
Her head laid on the floor.
Wanting, Cursing,
Making her tummy explode.
Wanting, Cursing,
She feels so damaged & alone.
Insanity, Believing,
Such is this world of an anorexic.
How did this make you feel?
Comments
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o wow
i absolutely love it! it's deep.
and i like the repetition in it personally but that's my opinion on it...it's prolly just the way poeple read.
it to me gave an emotion that was pretty intense.
so good job! =) keep it up
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personally i think that the repetition in it slightly takes from the punch it could have given the reader,
such short stanzas make it hard for me [and this is just my opinion] to really get much genuine emotion or imagery. -
Feelings
This is just what i thought of at the time, tell me what you think and if the repitiion of the two words a the beginning of the phrase was effective. (=
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