What is…?
That foolish American
A fictionist one eyed alien
The blue stuff on your skin
This closet full of ammunition
A man… no soul
A woman…no control
A library…no books
A song…no hook
Alive without a single breath
Imagine life without death
What is this world I’m in
Why are you making grins
Who the hell are you?
And what am I goin’ through
What is…?
That ridiculous American
A starving anorexian
The heat in your friend
All of this annunciation
Jupiter…no rings
A fly…no wings
A CD…no songs
A bell…no bong
A craft book without a single spell
Imagine heaven without hell
What is…?
That crazy American
Why can’t we all be humans?
Just stop global warming
And the militarism massacre
A journal…no page
A show…no stage
A book…no words
A nest…no bird
A knight without his sword
Imagine Christianity without the lord
The world as we know it
Is coming to an end
Author notes
"Between the click of the light and the start of a dream." -- "No Cars Go" by The Arcade Fire.
A contest entry
- Prompt Contest (A-B) by OhNoChastity.
600 points, ended July 18, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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there is a good message ...why can't we all be humans --very effectively brought out here....
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First off, I really like that you chose this prompt. It's definitely not as easy as the other ones. It's one that takes a bit more interpretation. I also like your interpretation. It's interesting, and though, to be honest, I'm not sure I'm correct in it... but this is how I see you. It's addressing the changes in our civilization that just keep occurring. It's dream like, and right now, we're inbetween the non-reality that will come (the dramatised future where the flies have no wings ) and that click, which is done by humans hands.
I like this poem because of the creativity, as well as the political address it's making. It carries a philosophy, and it makes the reader consider and think what the writer is trying to say. It's not another poem on the end of a relationship, although some can be great, most are merely yet another poem. This is very interesting indeed.
I could see this as a song. Of course, I'd suggest punk. This is what punk is, after all, addressing the issues our society has to offer. The rhyme scheme is there, and there almost seems to be a chorus. "What is... that foolish American".
My favourite line was "What is Christianity without the Lord?" Can you answer that question? Perhaps that in itself is another poem. It's very thought provoking yet even without the extra thought, it makes a very downtrodden point.
As far as suggestions, I amend the rhyme, it IS well done as far as rhyme goes, and if you intend this to be lyrics it's great for that. However, it's unneeded. I noticed the rhyme right off the bat, and I found myself matching words instead of analyzing.
Thank you for entering, and I'd love to read other poetry by you. Keep writing, please. Also, keep thinking.
-Jen
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