Whispers of the night still slumber
where hands were clasped, content
Traces of the flesh, remembered
in bittersweet lament
What god denies this joy unique
and keeps my soul at bay?
Too distant for my arms to reach
the lips that bade me, stay
And thus remains this dream of mine,
asleep but still alive
Alone I mourn each tick of time
your kiss may yet revive
The way we were, the way you are
both things that give me pause
To wish upon a fallen star
for true love sans the flaws
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Wow this is a really good write, its like a loves dream this is romantic and heart felt
Kep penning on and on your a great writer Leo, keep the good work up. Thank you for sharing and your rhymes are always nice. It was a pleasure to read.
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A golden pen!
As rhyme is my favorite, this piece is simply marvelous to me! And love lost is a topic I'm all too familiar with so I can really identify!
Thanks for sharing!
Regards,
Jennifer
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This is very pretty with exquisite rhyme and flow. It is romance at its best with no explicit details. I enjoyed it very much. Love, Chez
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What a lovely poem, Leo... it says so much for love dreamed of, hoped for, lost. I especially like the last stanza. The rhyming is right on, yet doesn't overpower the flow and beauty of the poem itself.
A very nice write
Dee
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Leo, so very bittersweet. To want to reach out and touch someone, who bades you to stay where you are. Been there, done that! You rhythm and rhyme are perfect. I know you wrote this from deep in your heart. MAy all that's good, come to you. For of all the people I have met here, you so deserve the best! Your writing should be so cathartic to you! Smile, my friend. So many love you!
Linda
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You poetry is always so damn beautiful Leo!
Your last line is of course the clincher in this. So many would argue that "true love" would contain no flaws. Then again...I could argue the semantics of the word..."flaw".
Instead...I will simply say that no matter your topic...your work is always wonderful!
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not bad i like the fllow of this poem keep up the good work
~Tj aka ringmaster
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beautiful
This is unique. Very beautifully written. Dont you just love dreams? haha good write my friend..
Rose
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Lovely rhyme that trots out at a good even pace, sometimes we have to just keep reliving the memories, whilst hoping to find something similar to what has been lost. Great poem Leo, very nice job!
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Loss is a very intense Muse.
And you wrote the anquish well, Leo. Remember, what will be, will be.
Blessed be.
Myra
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Lovely poem Leo.
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There is weight of loss in these words. Maybe this is a time of reflection for you, and in due course your heart will heal to make ready for that new love. Sad but beautifully written. I love your poetry Leo.
Always ♥
Renee
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wow
that is amazing. i know this emotion all too well. this is the best poem i think ive ever read. each line tells a little more of the story and releases new emotion with it. i love the imagery and the simple, almost vague, beauty of that moment. simply amazing. i wish there were more than 3 applause. i will definately b reading more of your poetry. wonderful write.
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This is indeed a whisper of the passionate love bringing the voice of the soul around the words..well done.....
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WOW eeee!
I love what the thoughts of true love bring forth from your soul! With this poem you are in touch with the essence which comes out pure thought on the page. I just loved these lines: "And thus remains this dream of mine, asleep but still alive" Most enjoyable thoughts that were easy for me to ID with. "true love sans the flaws" ... Very astute! joy
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