If I ever told you the truth
What would you say
What would you do
If I ever told you what happen back then
Would you stop loving me
Or would you stop loving him
Who would you blame
Who would you trust
He was always your favorite
You loved him the most
Would you look at me different
Would you turn away
Lower your eyes in disgust
Have nothing to say
With words would I kill you
Would I break your heart
Its a chance I won't take
Because I love you that much
So the pain and the anguish
I'll keep it inside
Take it all with me
Till the day that I die
A contest entry
- Say What You Need To Say by MissPennyLane.
450 points, ended June 20, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Old News by HiddenByTheDark.
420 points, ended June 16, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Unappreciated Brilliance by KayJay.
1300 points, ended June 23, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Rene... This is lovely. A very personal write about something that happened in your past... it is honest with such sadness both over the act and not feeling you are able to find closure by admitting the truth. Beautiful words and strong emotions woven into this.
From a critical viewpoint (you didn't think I was going to let you off easy did you?
) and just my opinion... There's an ambiguity to this... I'm not who you're talking to and that would help focus this a bit.
I think this is a great work just from the honesty here... Thank you for sharing...Truely, this is what I was hoping for... and it's unappreciated no longer.
Ken
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Powerfull and much depth
This was a deeply sad write, and so very close to home for me. Secrets can either help or hurt. I am sure your secret is not on you to be blamed, but the fear is well understood. I found as I got older in life that my secrets were hurting me and the judgement of others no longer mattered when I learned that I was someone in spite of any secrets I contained. I use that past now as my power, my fuel to live and grow each day. I hope you will too. Ty for the in depth look into your soul. Love light and joy always.
Micki
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This piece has some really great emotions in it, and the message is full of opportunity, there's just a few places that you might want to re-look and edit, grammar-wise, other than that this is really great
.
Amanda -
kindly look, Good
Stanza five first line."With world would i kill you."
OR "with words would i kill you." -
love it.
its painfully true...
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