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Fate's echo

You humiliated me,
fed on radiance that once
entranced so many.

Now only sorrow seeps.
 

Strong no more,

I faltered
became the coward,
your evil ways controlled
every 
         move I made.

Oblivious to screams
soon to be echoed,
sharing space with thunder
thrust

         from vicious skies.

Overwhelmed, your victim,
I caved to your sheer power
strongly hating the

                             taking of my life,
                                                      is

                                                       your hearts fate.

Author notes

Word bank contest --
Radiance, overwhelmed, humiliate [d], entranced, sorrow, hate [ing], evil, oblivious, power,
scream [s], sheer, victim, thunder, coward, thrust, fate, strong and strongly

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Lowercase Prelude gold member
    June 23

    Edit | Reply
    very good write. i like how you constructed this piece, how and where you placed you words. it really captured the pain and emotion you were conveying in this write.


  • stavykm gold member
    June 19

    Edit | Reply

    Dark Alright

    Gee you did an excellent job on this dark poem. You used that word bank just brilliantly. Fabulous write for the contest. I loved the way you typed out your poem too. You are so creative in so many ways. Best of luck in the contest.
    Much Love
    Aunty Kelle


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    Damn!! That was dark and brilliant!! Would never have known it was word bank!

    Awesome write sis!!


  • Weltt gold member
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    Oooo! this was a dark and brilliant piece!! Very intense imagery that seemed to jump off the page. all the words incorporated here from the word bank felt so smooth like they belonged. Such talent in your dark writes. love these from you!! well done and best of luck!


    -Dan


    • CinfullyDelicious
      June 15
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Darl...i enjoyed this one a lot hehe

      • Weltt gold member
        June 15
        Edit | Reply
        Oh yeah, well I enjoyed it more!! so take that!.....I don't really know what I'm trying to say here. Just ignore me.

        • CinfullyDelicious
          June 15
          Edit | Reply
          hehehehe dans going


          tis cool, im out of it today, feeling crappy stomach pain, glad I had a good one yesterday lol

          • Weltt gold member
            June 15
            Edit | Reply
            That's no good. Soon you shall feel better.

  • Talking Toni gold member
    June 15

    Edit | Reply

    ALRIGHT!!!!!

    This is what I am talking about!!! You used the words and made them into something all your own. Great imagery and great imagination...Thanks for entering my contest and the best of luck!!!~~Toni~~

    • CinfullyDelicious
      June 15
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you..only recently have I been doing more darker stuff and I love it, so loved your word choices


      Cindy

  • Sailor Ptolema gold member
    June 15

    Edit | Reply

    que bueno!

    oh my! I LOVE THIS!
    just bitterness and sorrow radiate from this poem!
    great use of the word banK!
    best of luck in the contest, I foresee a trophy
    well done!


  • Cannonsfire silver member
    June 15
    Edit | Reply
    Great job hun, you have woven a sad but haunting tale with the words. Love, C


  • LadyDementia gold member
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    Wow your descending into darkness superbly! Mwhahahaha I love this hunni, you've done a fantastic job...you should write more dark ones. (then more, and more etc, I will turn you! ..lol) Had no idea it was a word bank until I saw your AN, very smoothly done. This should do really well, excellently penned Good luck


  • vanessa reen gold member
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    This is great and well done on using the word bank, you have done a great job with it here. All the best for the contest.

1 - 23 of 23