Crying on the inside
Tears run through my veins
I'm a different person
I'll never be the same
I'll try to heal my scars
And not open up new wounds
I want to try to laugh
But it's simply just too soon
He hurts me, I hurt me
It's just a stupid game
The abuse he put me through
I curse his foul name
Now every time I cry
Blood streams down my face
But when they see me daily
All doubt I must erase
My smiles are none but fake as my heart still aches
And bleeds tear after tear
I must be strong, I must not break
I cannot show my fear
I have found through all this pain
That there's truth in these words:
Strength is truly no more
Than how well you hide the hurt
Author notes
I'm actually quite surprised that everybody liked this so much, but I'm thankful for it too. There's one kind of like this, http://allpoetry.com/poem/4307469 and again, it's about not wanting to release tears, or show weakness, and yeah. Thank you guy for all the comments, keep them coming please!
- Comments for All group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Devastatingly Depressing. by a.changed-soul..
1130 points, ended January 5, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite contest by Sadistic klown girl.
1000 points, ended June 2, 155 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
So...how did I do?
Comments
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This was so full of emotion it was well written. I reallyu like it alot. YOu did a good job on it.
These are my favorite stanza's
"He hurts me, I hurt me
It's just a stupid game
The abuse he put me through
I curse his foul name
Now every time I cry
Blood streams down my face
But when they see me daily
All doubt I must erase
My smiles are none but fake as my heart still aches
And bleeds tear after tear
I must be strong, I must not break
I cannot show my fear
I have found through all this pain
That there's truth in these words:
Strength is truly no more
Than how well you hide the hurt"
Thank you for sharing -
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Thank you.(:
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great write... dont ever hide the pain that's wen things get worse :-(
I enjoyed reading this xx
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Very true, and I'm learning to realize that.
Thank you for the advice& commenting it
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Very good write
Don't know what I could add to the other comments already made. Suffice it to say, that I like it! Good work, keep it up!
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Aw, that's so kind, thank you(:
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This was..amazing!
My favorite stanza:
"My smiles are none but fake as my heart still aches
And bleeds tear after tear
I must be strong, I must not break
I cannot show my fear."
Thank-You for entering,
best of luck.
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Thank you very much!
I really am happy you enjoyed this, and good luck judging!
There have got to be some amazing writes out there.
Farewell, and thank you again for commenting!
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Gasp!! I'm glad I read this, it's so amazing! Although poems like this aren't normally my thing, you can't not be moved by this one! I love how you swapped around tears and blood, so that you cry blood and have tears in your veins. Also: the ending was perrrrrfect! Well done. abi x x x
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Aw! Thanks ;D
Yeah, honestly, they usually aren't my thing either (and especially during these joyous holidays!) but I guess when inspiration hits, you gotta follow it! I'm glad you liked the swapping of the bodily fluids ^__^ And it means so much that you appreciated it so much.
Happy Holidays, and thank you for reading!
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How can we not like this?? It's great!!
Nela -
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Thank you so much!
I was so sure everybody had forgotten about this, like a has-been of allpoetry, so thank you for making my day
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You're mostly welcome! I know how much it means when somebody appreciates your work.
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W-O-W this was amazing, the flow the rhyme and the depth and beauty was breathtaking! awesome! and the last words about strength being nothing more than how well you hide the hurt, were golden and powerful and left the reader ((or me atleast)) amazed... this is my idea of a perfect poem...
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You made my day, thank you so much! I'm so happy you feel that way about, and I'm truly happy that you liked it! Golden words? LOL I like the sound of that! I'm glad that it amazed you and I'm just so happy that you find it flawless, thank you so much it really made my day
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It was awesome! The last words made perfect sense! I loved! Don't let him get you down there is so much more out there! I like the whole thing! This is one of my favs!
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Thank you! And I hope there aren't more abusers out there
although there are and it's such a shame, nobody deserves it! I'm so so so HAPPY that you liked and and I hope I can do more work that you like
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This is really good and It seems everyone else thought so too Nice work....Those last words make perfect sense.....This is an awesome write....
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Well thank you!
I'm glad they made sense to you guys
(I hope I just didn't ramble on and on for all this time)
And I'm happy you enjoyed it Thanks again!
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wow this is so sad dont let him hurt you hes not worth the pain i loved this poem it was sooooooo good wow im so ....its just wow
i cant wait to read more of your wondrfull work
well so long you should read and comment on my poems too
shlottieyda<3
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I'm glad you asked me to because yours were amazing I am going to comment on more of them tomorrow
I'm glad you like my poem
You're wowed again, yay!
lol Well I will talk to you later thanks again =]
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oh my gosh this is amazing.
i can relate to how youre feeling.
i love ittt =]
i can definitely tell that you are feeling hurt, and i hope that all is well in the end. <33 -
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All is well now.
I just needed to get suppressed emotion out in the open.
I'm glad you liked it, and thank you for commenting (=
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beautiful.
hard work payed off.
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And the fact that you guys think that is reward enough
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You had me with the title
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Aww!
Thank you!
It hit home for me when I finally came up with it
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"Strength is truly no more
Than how well you hide the hurt", I can definetely relate to that and in many ways I feel it is very true. Though in some ways it is almost a greater test to see if we have the courage to let others know how much we are hurting...whether it be a friend, or allpoetry
. Yet above all that we have to know that someone who has hurt you, and made you feel less than you are worth does NOT deserve your thoughts, your tears or your choice to let your precious life slip by in days of not living 'well'.
I hope what I am saying makes sense. No matter how much it hurts, you have this gift of life and you have the right to live it to the fullest.
My best wishes are with you and I hope you find your peace. Thanks for sharing this deep, personal write with us.
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I understand what you're saying, and a good friend of mine said the same thing.
He told me that if I do show my emotions, I'm not showing I'm weak, I'm showing I'm strong enough to show them, and that whoever caused me all this grief doesn't deserve to see that they are/were hurting me.
He told me to live my life how I want it to, and that emotions are a natural thing, and nothing to be ashamed of, and that we all deserve to have somebody to talk to about them.
Thanks so much for this great advice, I'll keep it in mind.
Farewell!
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Wow! I absolutely love this!! You did so good! Your words had a really strong message behind them! Good Job!!
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Thank you!
I love all the exclamation marks in your comment, it brings off a happy feeling!
I'm glad that you loved it!
Your support helps a lot
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wow, this was amazing andi loove that saying at the end..
soooooo truuuuuuuue
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Thank you!
Weird this is it was the hardest part to come up with, it took a while, then it hit me.
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Love it!!!!
Flawless, amazing, breath taking, and a bunch more adjectives I will think of later. Cutting, *shivers*, such a concept. It may be some ppl's style but definitely not mine. *shivers* Tears in the form of blood. Love it all!!!!
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Thank you so so so so much Kim!
It's not just about cutting, it's about abuse and getting through it, although I am glad you saw the cutting part. I'm glad you liked it
And get back son!
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amazing!
this was one of the best poems i have read! its deep and shows emotion..and it could help others in the same situation..it was exquisite and beautifully written -
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I hope I'm able to help somebody out, even it if winds up being just one person, I want my poem to touch somebody and have them take it with them their whole life. Thank you for your input.
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I really like this poem. The title grabs the attention and is something I can relate to. Great write.
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The title is what wrapped up the poem.
I couldn't figure out how to end it,
Then I though, "Hmm, what is the TRUE definition of strength?" So that how the title got there.
Thank you for reading!
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very profound and self inspiring write.. you truly captured the true inner strength
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Thank you!
People usually think about outer strength...
So if I'm to be one of the few to think about what's on the inside, then so be it!
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well.. i can assure your not the only one.
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Beautiful
I absolutely love this poem
One of the best I've read yet.
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Wow, thank you!
The encouragement of that comment alone is enough to make me wanna write a masterpiece(:
Thanks for the support!
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And you have so thank you also. And God Bless. I hope this impacts others as well.
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Absolutely, and completely true. But i think with a wonderful write like this people will understand more. And maybe help them in real life when they get in these situations. You have truly inspired and good luck in the future.
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I'm happy to hear you say that.
If at least one person was able to read this, and be touched by it, just one person, I feel like I have done my job.
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amazing no writers block here great !!
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Thank you for reading and commenting!
And ohh I'm SO happy the block has been removed, the dry spell is over, and the rain is filling my inspiration! (And WOW that's a lot of metaphors!)
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Well really thank your self. Because some people don't realize that, that is where the REAL strength comes from its not all about physical. Or how fast they get through it. Its about how you deal with it and take it. It shows that you can either stand on your own two feet. Or let the pain show and like you say, pour over and over flow your life.
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I get what your saying, it's about the mental strength. With physical strength, you can build yourself up more, lift some weights do some crunches, and boom. But mental is more emotional and heartfelt and takes time to build up. Mental strength is when you find out if you are independent, and able to stand on your own, or if you need some guidance. Thank you, that's very, very insightful.
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Wonderful, fantastic, your dry spell must be over, this is so good.
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And thank goodness for that, let the rain pour!
Thank you for reading and commenting
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I really like this and all that you say is true. How well you hold up in tough times all determines what kind of strength and what type of person you are. Im sure everyone has been in the same place. Its hard to get through these types of things. But its also these types of things like you said where our strength and independent stanza shines. Good Write!
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Thank you!
I don't even know what to say!
That's exactly what I wanted people to get out of it, every word, about the strength part!
Wow, just thanks so much, it's totally what I wanted to get across to the reader.
Thanks so much for reading, commenting, and expressing my thoughts in a way I couldn't understand.
It really helped!
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sounds like a song of release.. getting it out and getting it said.. it is beautiful needs music is all you are good.
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A song of release.
I like how you phrased that.
I didn't think about putting it to music, but I may do so at one point.
I wrote it from my soul, and I guess why people like it. Thanks so much for reading!
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nice poem, hits home with me. Keep up the good work.
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Thanks! I'm glad this poem touched you!
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wow. this is truly a well-written poem. it flows nicely and it left me thinking. i especially love the last line. nice write!
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Thank you sooo much!
I like my items to stick with people and cause them to think about life and stuff.
Glad I accomplished it with you!
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absolutely beautiful
The last two lines "Strength is truly no more
Than how well you hide the hurt" so true but I've neer heard it said like that beofer. Keep it Up!
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Well, I wanted to approach this subject uniquely, since a lot of people write about it.
Thank you so so much for your input!
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This really hit home for me. I like that idea, "strength is truly no more than how well you hide the hurt" You may, however, want a shorter title. It fits, but it is a mouthful. Might you inclue why you have to hide things? (only if you can fit it easily and if you cant then disregard this)
Is masking always a good thing though? Sometimes it isnt, keep that in mind. Many blessings in whatever you're dealing with right now, and if you ever need to rant, I know you dont know me but you are welcome to anyway.
Peace
Anonymousxo <3 -
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What do you think of, "Definition of Strength," as the title? And I myself am not sure why I hide things, so I can't quite put it in the poem, although that is something to think about this summer. And no, masking isn't a good thing. I told my friend how I do this, and he said that I'm just, "Killing myself from the inside out,".
And thank you for that, I will remember to rant to you in time of need.
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I really enjoyed your poem but thought the one big stanza muddled the story and caused a sort of run on of thought, blurring them just a litte. I hope you don't mind that I layed it out a little differently below. I just wanted to give you a different perspective of your poem. I kept all the words you used except, "I must" in the sixth line from the bottom and combined the the two lines. I even found your rhyme scheme in here. Please feel free to ignore any of this.
I just really enjoyed what you were saying here!
Crying on the inside
Tears run through my veins
I'm a different person
I'll never be the same
I'll try to heal my scars
And not open up new wounds
I want to try to laugh
But it's simply just too soon
He hurts me, I hurt me
It's just a stupid game
The abuse he put me through
I curse his foul name
Now every time I cry
Blood streams down my face
But when they see me daily
All doubt I must erase
My smiles are none but fake
As my heart still aches
And bleeds tear after tear
I must be strong, not break
I cannot show my fear
I have found through all this pain
That there's truth in these words:
Strength is truly no more
Than how well you hide the hurt
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I do like how you separated it,
(It was all muddled in my brain at the time, so I didn't think to make different stanzas)
But I think I will keep I must not break, because if I don't, it messes with the rhyme scheme. Really good advice though, thanks so much!
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aww this is such a lovely poem!
i liked it alot!
great work
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Thank you!
I'm glad you liked, read, and commented it!
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I liked it a lot. It was very well written first of all. THe rhyme was perfect. half the time I didn't even realize it rhymed because it was just so perfect. And I also love the emotion that emits from it. You can tell it comes straight from your heart. The only thing I can suggest is adding punctuation but that's really it. I'm sorry for the pain that you are going through. Hope you feel better. Keep on writing!
Sincerely,
ModernXTimes -
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Think you so so so much, and I did think about adding punctuation. The only thing with that is it breaks it up a lot, and I sort of want it to be what it was, which is running through my mind in hurried thoughts, and usually your thoughts are jumbled up and twisted and confused and stuff, so I wanted to clear up the thoughts by making it one whole stanza, and putting different thoughts on different lines, but at the same time not clear everything up TOO much, and have it to be clear, although I get what you're saying. I'm fine now, all of this happened to me as an infant, and I'm all good now.
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I really enjoyed this! It was full of truth and emotion and I felt every word hit me like a ton of bricks. Good job!
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A ton of bricks?
Hope I didn't break you!
But I'm glad I got my point across. Thanks for reading!
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This is a really good poem, it works really wel as just one stanza and I think the last two lines are really true. Good write.
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Thank you! It did take some time to figure out an appropriate ending, so I kind of had to wing it. Thank you so, so much for reading and commenting!
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Intense....
This is an amazing poem!
It shows a lot of emotion. I love it.
Great Poem!!
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Thank you!
It's actually a whole lot more intensifying then I meant for it to be, but I guess my feelings were just that...intense!
Thank you again for the lovely comment
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This truely is an amazing poem. It's so full of emotions. You made it very beautiful I can say. It shows you the sadness and the hurt. Great job.
Keep writing
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Thank you! I'm glad you saw the emotion and pain I tried to put into it to show how it felt and just get the general idea. Thanks again for reading and commenting!
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It's really good, I love the emotion conveyed through this. However, in some places you seem to rhyme, "He hurts me, I hurt me
It's just a stupid game
The abuse he put me through
I curse his foul name"
and then it doesn't seem to go anywhere.
It's a really disjointed rhyme sceme, but that is there is a rhyme scheme at all, maybe it's just your choice of words. Anyways, that makes it sound like it don't like the poem, please don't think that
I actually love it!
and the last two lines are so very, very true
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Thank you! Well, I couldn't quite figure out what to put after I put that, so I just put what I felt, then it gave me a title for the poem as well. Confusing, I know, but I had to make it work somehow! Thanks for commenting!
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Damn this is one of the best writes that i have read in a while..
I hope that this wasn't really true but if it is then more power to you... i know what you are going through because i have been there too. but all i know is that dont let whoever ruin you as a person or you might end up like them
laters
denika
btw extremely good write i gave u three little clapping smiling faces
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Thank you, that's awesome, glad you like it! Well, sadly, it was true, but that wasn't my only inspiration. It happened to me when I was a lot younger, so I don't remember it as much, but it still hurts, ya know? And whenever I'm sad I do cover up and mask my emotions, and I try to be strong, and I was talking to one of my guy friends, and he told me this: "Striving to be strong is the path to weakness," and it stuck with me, and was another inspiration for me to write this. So yeah, I was abused as an infant, so I don't remember much of it, but some scars never heal. I promise, I'll never be like them.
YAY CLAPPIES! Thank you for reading and commenting
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aww i love the first 2 lines!!
this is a great poem!!!
loved it! -
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Thank you so much!
My best poetry seem to come from first-hand experience, so thanks a bunch!
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this is a very very nice poem you have written. i like the poem a lot because you put in raw emotions and that is always good,
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Thanks, I say putting your emotions and angst into poetry will always help and smooth things over, and help yourself to calm down. Thanks for reading, Lexie!
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That's very good. Full of strength but beware of holding your feelings in cause when the bottle is full it'll overflow into places you don't want it to. True strength isn't hiding your feelings, it's excepting them and making changes for the better life. You desearve love and your worth more.
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You know, everybody tells me that, which exactly why I write poetry to get it out. I tols one of my guy friends how I hide emotion, and he told me, "Striving to be strong is just the pathway to weakness," which was partial inspiration for this poem. He also told me if I'm just keeping them locked away, it's like suicide from the inside out, because he says that's like killing myself on the inside, which, in a way, I guess it is. Within the last year, I'm loving myself more and feeling great, and I'll let nobody get in the way of that<33
Thank you for the advice, for reading, and for commenting, I really appreciate it
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There is vulnerability and strangth all rolled into one in this piece.
The ending, the last four lines, they touched me so deeply.
Nice job
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Well, it's about a very, very vulnerable person trying to build up a strong front, so I see how you got that out of there. I'm so glad you liked the ending, I had to think about it for a while, then it just clicked, and it gave me a title as well.
Thank you for reading and commenting
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This is awesome your feelings and emotions show very well in this poem! I loved it!
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Thank you! my feelings and emotion are exactly what I put INTO it, so I'm glad that's what you took from it. I'm just sharing a bit of myself with the allpoetry community that I haven't quite shared yet.
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This is great...the time you took and the emotions you are feeling shows. It is a great write. I especially enjoyed the ending. Strength can seem like a very complicated quality, but you have summed it up and simplified it beautifully at the end of this.
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Aw! Poetry is my refuge, I can write about anything and everything to get my feelings out, and I can take however much time I need to do so. That's so true, strength can seem quite difficult and sometimes complicated and I'm glad I was able to define it for you
Thank you for reading and commenting!
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Wow... that was amazing. So touchign and heartfelt!
"I must be strong
I must not break
I cannot show my fear
I have found through all this pain
That there's truth in these words:
Strength is truly no more
Than how well you hide the hurt "
Ok, lots to highlight, but just really sumed it up and it was great! -
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Omg, thank you!
In my poems I try to make the ending the gist of what I'm trying to say. I'm so so SO glad you liked it! Y'alls opinions mean a lot to me!
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You know, I don't like this basic topic a lot because people tend to make it really cliche and used, but you do a decent job of it, and it doesn't sound awkward like this sort of poem tends to be. I like this quite a bit, you do a good job of expressing your emotions creatively and meaningfully.
Nice work,
Cadence <3
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omg
How didn't you do? haha
this poem is amazing, but sadly true. There's only one, and ONLY one thing i'd change: My smiles are NONE BUT fake
As my heart still aches
other than that, i LOVED the flow and choice of words. FANTASTIC WORK!!!
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LOL!
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to extend line 17 to make it flow better! That helped a lot!
Thank you for commenting, I'll be sure to have more poems up and running!
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Wow....You did great...lolz...I love this write..very good!!
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Hey, thanks! I'm prouder of this poem then I thought I'd be, and I didn't expect it to get THIS much publicity, though I very thankful for it. Thanks so much!
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oh...well done. Smiling on the outside, crying on the inside...ya...I've been there too. ***Pam***
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Even if it wasn't abuse, I think we all have times where we feel like we have to fake a smile to get through the day. Thank you for reading and commenting
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i like it... its very well-written!!
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Aww, thank you for taking the time to read and comment it!
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A touching poem and a testament to a girl/woman's strength. I sometimes wonder about the sentiment expressed in the last line. Don't get me wrong, that's I exactly what I did (spousal abuse), sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had shouted it from the rooftops and exposed him for the heel he really was? Don't know, but we do what we feel is best at the time.
Whew! Very well written and as you can tell, has really made me think. Thank you for that
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I think that we should all let SOMEBODY know. We all deserve to have somebody to talk to, especially when we're really hurting on the inside as well as the outside. The sad thing is, 9 times out of 10, we're being abused by somebody who was once close to us, and the one person we trust to talk to about it is the one abusing us, so we feel like we have nobody to talk to. I think we all need to let somebody know. I was to young to let somebody know, a mere infant, so I wasn't able to do that, and I was taken away from all that before I had an opportunity to tel anybody, for which I am grateful for. I didn't mean to make you go back to a dark time in your life, but at the same time I'm glad that you were comfortable to share this with me, poet to poet.
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This is really good. I only have one suggestion though. I would change line 6 to
"and not open up new wounds"
It flows a little better in my opinion.
But clappies for you!
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I completely agree, and I changed it.
Yay clappies!
And thank you for giving constructive criticism, it truly makes me a better writer
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