I stumbled upon a picture
And what a story it told
The love of my father
More precious than gold
It was of him holding me
Pressed gently to his chest
His lips upon my forehead
A kiss will forever rest
An amazing look in his eyes
Showed that of boundless love
Such a perfect father
I'm given from God above
Now I look in these eyes
That amazing love’s still there
As in my childhood years
His face shows love and care.
As time is swiftly flying
This picture I shall press
Gently over my heart
Where forever it shall rest
A contest entry
- Fatherless Day by lively banter.
500 points, ended June 18, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Very lovely, indeed. This was a heartfelt dedication to your father. I'm sure he is as proud of you as you are of he. Thank you for sharing.


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Yes it is very lovely to see a positive poem in the contest. Your rhymes are fantastic. The only two spots where I think the poem could be reworked was in stanza three and four, for the rhyming formats sake. I think you have a few unneeded words that if trimmed, could make the poem shine even brighter. When you rhyme always remember that if you trip up, then the rhyme needs a little change. All in all though, this is top notch work.
Thanks so much for entering and good luck.
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It's nice to see a postive poem in the contest. I was hoping we would get many different views about people's father's but sadly, we mostly got sad stuff. This poem feels like it'd fit perfectly on a father's day card. Thank you for entering.
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the pic and this poem was so beautiful
i love this poem -
awww.
It was adorable.
A very standard and simple poem, but I think it worked pretty well. -
Treasure that picture and thank you for your write.
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Beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You did an awesome job on ths an I am sure any father who reads it will well up with tears of pride...You did amazing for not having your own personal inspiration...I know cause I am right there with you!!!This goes so nicely with the photo and the title is perfect the back ground is lovely as well!!! Thanks for shairng and nice to see you posting again!!!~~Toni~~

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