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Closest Thing To Heaven

Someones wings are lost and gone.
The angel's down on earth.
He doesn't even know he's one.
That's why he's been through rebirth.

Of all people for him to love,
he surprisingly chose me.
And every time he shows himself,
my soul breaks out,
it's free.

So every time he holds me tight,
were I can feel his heart.
I'll always know he loves me so,
even when we're apart.

So hear me now oh lovely one,
for this is mearly true.
Always know that you are loved,
and the closest thing
to heaven is you.

Author notes

This one's my favorite because this is exactly how I feel towards my fiance.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • stargazer.
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    Originality: (7/10)
    Emotion: (9/10)
    Poetic devices: (14/20)
    Structure/flow: (8/10)
    Cohension: (7/10)
    Title relating to poem: (10/10)
    Personal opinion: (8/10)
    Syntax: (7/10)
    Diction: (7/10)


    Total:77/100


  • SignifyingNothing
    August 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is gorgeous. I am very impressed, especially considering your age (I don't mean to sound like an old fogey, but I know I couldn't write this well at fourteen) The language is simple but sweet, the rhyme is very well done and the poem is beautiful from beginning to end. A simple write that really makes me feel. I love it. You are VERY talented. Keep writing by all means.


  • Riftkin gold member
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    flow and rhyme
    was divine

    love this part

    So every time he holds me tight,
    were I can feel his heart.
    I'll always know he loves me so,
    even when we're apart.


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    July 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very pretty poem for your love, thank you for sharing in this contest....good luck
    Lin


  • Brandan Shamaya
    July 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    so whos this about again? ;]
    i love you


  • HiddenByTheDark
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW!! i love this poem it is so amazing.. and the flow is great. This sounds so well heavenly.

    ♥always Kate


  • Shiori-The-Creator
    June 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Good luck! I wish I knew what you felt when you wrote this, since I have never been in love. *reads again... and again... and again...*


  • Sandygram silver member
    June 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    This is one of the lovliest love poems I have read in a while. It was so sweet and lovely and touched my heart. Made me miss someone very much. Thank you for sharing. You takew care. You enjoy that wonderful andgel.Take Care,

    Bless You,
    Sandy


  • perfectsunset gold member
    June 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aww this was deeply heartfelt and pouring soul's emotions deep and true. Such a touching and beautiful write.

    Best of luck & thanks for entering

  • LoveToLaugh07
    June 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is really good! Good luck in the contest. You deserve to win something for this.


  • Modern Talking
    June 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A traditional take on the title, but so unique in who/what you described. I like the fact that you used your angel as your muse here. Thanks so much for entering!


  • LovesPlayToy
    June 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow this a very good u poem!!!!

1 - 21 of 21