Drink, it ruins me, but I keep on chuggin'
Meandering along the dirt track, like some
stoner after a ten-note of bud.
I sweep the floor... I'm off my feet.
Headlights flash... I get help.
Cracked Mahogany, my favourite surface...
memories, the lines hold sentimental value.
the sweet nothings of home... arm chair rocking,
you catch my eye. I'm in, Jack Daniels in one hand,
a syringe in the other...
You probably think this means I gave up on you,
The saddest part is this is why I've come.
As I brush past... your hair, like the straw
eaten by horses out back. You masquerade...
a false sense of security, your omniscience,
a wonder
to the rest of the world...
Do I look like a jackass?
Why not?
I heard they're pretty good water carriers...
I pull out my rifle, now you're listening
A faint cry for help...
"No one's listening sugar"
You stitched me up one too many times!
BAM! It's over, the bottles got me
and I'm off trailing home...
Author notes
Option 1,
"You probably think this means I give up on you,
The saddest part is this is why I come."
[I'd stare at the sun for you, allow myself to go blind, because your face is etched in my mind anyway]
Read the rules!! =D
A contest entry
- Baby, you would say anything, let's keep to the scripted quotes shall we? by Kiss the girl--x.
525 points, ended July 1, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - COWBOY DREAMS or COWBOY BLUES by ennovy.
700 points, ended July 22, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Well done on the two HM's.Very interesting write.My favourite bit is the last line ( not because it's the end
).Look forward to reading more.
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you catch my eye. I'm in, Jack Daniels in one hand,
a syringe in the other...
You probably think this means I gave up on you,
The saddest part is this is why I've come.
^thats my favorite part.
nicely written :]
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Painful and anguished cry for help. Good luck in the contest,
Novy & Brazos -
Well he into his bottle and all Jacked-up; just like a cowboy with problems...Thank you for entering Novy & Brazos
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It gave me a great chuckle. Not haha but the rib tickling kind. "I heard they're pretty good water carriers" is a great line. Good luck in the contest and happy trails
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the no one's listening sugar part is almost haunting
you hooked me this time -
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This time? Which poems have you read of mine?
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only this one.
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'you catch my eye. I'm in, Jack Daniels in one hand,
a syringe in the other...
You probably think this means I gave up on you,
The saddest part is this is why I've come.'
and...
'As I brush past... your hair, like the straw
eaten by horses out back. You masquerade...
a false sense of security, your omniscience,
a wonder
to the rest of the world...'
loves those lines, this was quite dark compared to everything else I've read of yours. Great though
*finalist*
♥
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