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my jagged knife

Hello inebriated soul here we are again,

Are you ready to release the pain burning from deep within,

Hello broken heart not healed to truth,

Are you ready to rip out of this horrid dark filled youth,

Hello impulsive mind running to fast,

Are you ready for the jagged knife as we have in the past,

 

Ripping tearing away the flesh of my pain,

Another thing in life to bring me hatred and shame,

Jagged knife you burn through my core revealing cause,

Never missing a beat or stopping to pause,

Searing heat immense destruction of pure cashmere, 

Now rippled and scared nothing beautiful to adhere,

 

Hello torn heart as you beat the walls of my inner breast,

Are you ready to give up we tried and gave it our best,

Hello  broken beauty nowhere to find true hope,

Are you ready to give up stop trying we don't need to cope,

Hello bright light as I enter my cruel and burning hell,

This life was all I had to give send me away to my dark cell.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Abstract Image
    November 2, 2008

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    I loved this poem i really did. It was so sad and i loved it. It had such hopelessness in it and ever line brought on a wave of powerful emotions that over came me...though i can no longer cry this poem surely would have made me...good luck.


  • Little Miss Mental
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hello awesome poet whose 26 years old, this poem you've created could never get old...its timeless and beautiful and completely sweet, and reading this now has been quite a treat...goods job, i understand why you won gold


  • Leanna-bean
    June 30, 2008

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    Holy hell this is amazing...Very powerful and raw. The rhyme and rhythm are truly beautiful! Thank you so much for the entry and good luck!


  • Arkbear gold member
    June 21, 2008
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    Wow ~

    Clever write with emotions and depth tugging at the Readers ~

    Nice format you have used as well ~

    I enjoyed the personification with your subjects....made for a fine read ~

    Keep up the great work and thank you for taking the time to enter something in the Reading List!

    God bless you!

    Bear ~


  • islekine gold member
    June 16, 2008
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    Dark and wicked write...

    Great emotions.....
    write on!


  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    June 14, 2008

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    Very well written and with so much dark emotion and imagery! I enjoyed your rhymes. The ending two lines are very powerful together...I truly enjoyed this write...thank you for sharing!!!

    blessings~
    Az

1 - 6 of 6