You made me lie down in pastures green
As you caressed my mind your message unseen
Your subtleness, your beauty instilled in my brain
Graven images flashed by, my heart feeling pain
Reflections of madness of feelings intense
Mesmerised by such beauty full of pretense
A scarring of tissue, unable to heal
Broken and crushed unable to feel
Yes, this is the road that leads to a living hell
It's a one way ticket that no one can quell
A passionate affair that is just a moment in time
When one is ensnared with another, is truly a crime
What is love? that it can be so ultimately blind
When the eye of seduction, is so easy to find.
A contest entry
- Picture Prompt 30 words or less by mysticstorm.
425 points, ended July 2, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Such an intensely emotional poem.
"You made me lie down in pastures green
As you caressed my mind your message unseen"
I like the idea of evil ulterior motives in the person's actions. :] Very cool. Also, I like the rhyme scheme.
"What is love? that it can be so ultimately blind
When the eye of seduction, is so easy to find."
Such a powerful ending. Such truth here. Loved your poem. :]
-Lily♥
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This reads almost as a personal plea or prayer.
It's rhyme and flow are easy to follow and keep
the words focused. I did want to replace 'one'
with 'soul' in "It's a one way ticket that no one can quell" just to bring a bit more impact into the
power you are talking about. Wonderful! Blue
PS-The font/background is impossible to read
without highlighting first, just wanted to mention!
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Very strong and power write...lovely imagery and flow...very nicely done...word count is a bit over, but still beautiful...thank you for sharing!
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Oh WOW.... I don't even know what else to say! That was incredibly powerful! Describes an ilicit affair perhaps... or an affair with a lover that you know from the start is going to be destructive, yet you can't help but give in. Very well described!
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