You loved me, once,
when the sunset was young,
but the sun was old.
And the stars
opened up to spy;
and my heart quickened
to pulse with the wings
of the eavesdropping moths.
We held forever in that
night sky.
I cupped you
like a silver pool in my hands
and in you I saw to the
other side of eternity
where time is a distant
memory.
So I rolled out of the dewy field
and melted into you.
I gathered my breath,
prepared my verbal bond.
Already you knew,
had known,
always;
it was spoken by
the clover we crushed underfoot,
the wind dancing overhead,
the loud hush of night.
And it was the universe around us.
Author notes
le sigh.
A contest entry
- My First Contest by OldBear34.
450 points, ended October 7, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Amazing. If I could favorite this poem, I definitely would. Congrats. I hope you do well. You certainly deserve it.
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Excellent Rhythm
I love both your imagry and your pace. It touches the emotions as good poetry should. Congratulations!
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Remember how we all ran out into the field, hoping to miss the rain and find stories in the sky, but there were no clouds? This took that memory, almost forgotten in my mind at least, and smacked me in the face with it.
This is gorgeous, darling. If the last ten lines could be personified, they would take the form of Disney princes ;-)
Hang in there, hon. You're going to be okay.
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I am constantly in admiration of your ability to say without saying exactly what you mean. It's so easy to spell everything about but the fact that you don't makes your poems so infinitely more rewarding. I love the ending - it's almost got a biblical feel to it, a feeling of everything at once. You have some way with words.
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i like it. it has a great body of writing to it and i enjoyed it. i was sweet and simple but with meaning. gr8 job
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