the high tide of slumber
drowns him in an ocean
of unsolicited dreams
horrifying in their sheer
nothingness
Atlantis tantalizes
with murky scintillation,
barely glimpsed crazy quilted
streets and structures, a tombstone
forgotten
surrounded by pure wrongness
the surface so far above
trapped in a quagmire other,
smothered by an obscure fear
unknown
he stares at a pair of hands
and they rise to puzzled eyes
the fingers move as willed to do
while he sits beside the bed
alone
thudding chest and throbbing head
laid down there but awakened here
foggy thoughts float all about
another night hidden in
amnesia
Author notes
Night terrors, very rare in adults e.g., H.P. Lovecraft.
Picture Credit: Paradox by Mork
That hand on the floor, don't know what it is that fascinates me so................
A contest entry
- dark picture prompt by completely mad.
600 points, ended July 2, 2008, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Brutally honest comments please.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Oh my, this poem brings back memories!!! I suffered night terrors until I was about 16, and now I sleep with a night light...kinda sad really, but WHAT an incredible write! I love this, you really capture the emotion so well.
Thanks for sharing this,
Luck. -
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I'm so sorry you suffered these abominable dreams. They're not uncommon in children and usually disappear in adolescence. I'm glad you outgrew yours
My cousin's son had them too
He's grown and fine now
Most appreciated.
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This poem is amazing. I love this. You really know how to write! Unfortunately it sounds like you are writing from experience though. I hope you and your hubby are doing well.
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Thank you Chaotic Kid No 1st hand personal experience, however I take that as a compliment! Smooches Deb
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that picture creeps me out haha..this was a great poem it touched on all the vital creepiness I has in mind for the picture promt thanks for entering...
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The picture prompt keeps dragging my eyes to that hand down by the floor. I'm getting eyestrain trying to figure it out!
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As I often do when the night is late, I read this quickly to see what stays in my mind after only a brief glimpse. Of course, you bolded "other" did, so I went back to that with a chuckle, recalling the subtlety of the whole piece. It turned out to be my favorite part of this fine art, and I will not lose my new view of that word.
As all of your work, it is more a painting than a writ, and should be done in an elegant caligraphy font.
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Most appreciated, GM!
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Extra Creepy!
You've created a wonderfully disturbing vision with this one, Keziah! I really enjoyed the sense of a nightmare of nothing. These are my favorite lines:
"Atlantis tantalizes
with murky scintillation,
barely glimpsed crazy quilted
streets and structures, a tombstone
forgotten"
The alliteration in the first lines sounds like the ocean, well done! I also liked the 'crazy quilted' line, crazy quilts were handed down through generations, it gives the sense of familial, nightly horrors passed down too. Nice!
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Ahhh, you pegged me on that one GC. Can't pull one over on you! Tried to give it a sense of H.P.'s unusual architecture, and yes, can you imagine what he inherited and if he had had children?
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Gave off a surreal sense. I can't come up with anything else but that. Kinda chilling if you think about it.
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TY, Icono. Much appreciated, most night terrors (unlike nightmares) are ever recalled. Surreal describes it perfectly. Smooch!
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