i)
The clouds that hid the stars have rolled away,
One thousand gems shine from a velvet bed.
The jewellery that's hidden by the day
Now decorates the canvas overhead.
A gentle breeze disturbs my garden's flowers
But nothing else is moving I can see.
The world has been asleep for several hours,
The only one alive here could be me.
My friends in other lands are wide awake,
I send my love to them before they sleep.
The magic of the silence must not break
The calm around me now is rich and deep.
Goodnight to all the world beneath the stars
Take time to mend the hurts and heal the scars.
ii)
The stars that ruled the night are put away,
The brilliance of the Sun sends them to bed.
A tranquil blue bedecks a summer's day,
A pristine canvas stretches overhead.
The birds and bees are flitting through the flowers
There is no other scene I'd wish to see.
The hunt for food will fill their daytime hours,
Their beauty will be there for you and me.
On such a day I'm glad to be awake
While friends abroad aren't troubled in their sleep.
The magic of each season cannot break,
The truths of life whose anchors are so deep.
If underneath the Sun or diamond stars,
The world deserves the time to heal its scars.
Author notes
The wren that sits right there on the branch outside my window to sing before daybreak each day.
In a list
A contest entry
- Then There Were Six by Tercil.
450 points, ended June 21, 2008, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [[ I wish i had a cookie]] For All by RawrSmileBabyPlz.
430 points, ended June 18, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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In the first sonnet, line 11, you could use a comma or a period after stars. What wonderful poems!
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These are beautiful and the wonderful flow just melts the images into the reader's heart. Nice work!
Love,
Amera♥
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Wow this is very well written
i could picture everything as i read it
great job
thanks for entering my contest
i wish you the best of luck
xxx-<3--
Shelly -
beautiful, serene, and romantic. glorious language and perfect imagery. a true joy to read.
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Awesome
What flow and and such a great thought. I loved it all. You may have created a prayer that bears repeating in the hearts of a lot of people. I will definitely be reading more of your work.
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Very rare I see someone think of their friends in poetry as passing wishful thoughts. Tis good to see someone who appreciates both night and day. Your rhyming scheme wound its way to the end with ease, an ebb and easy flow. Well wrote and thanks for sharing, there is beauty in all, even the dark.
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Well done.I love reading your thoughts here in contrast to one another and yet so together, Ros
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Theses are very beautiful and thought provoking. You have imbued the day and night with such magic.
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Oh, How that last line needs preserves, and deserves is a good one too. Much here in the mould of a Merlin Character in modern sycronisation of our times. Nice write indeed.
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Well penned. Took me on one helluva ride.
Great job here my dear.
Love
PAssions
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Together these two sonnets are magic...apart they're bloody good, but together.........
That's all
Me
x
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Bloody terrific dyad!
I have given you my opinion of the cracks in i), and they don't matter very much. Neither does the odd weakness in ii). Together this is charming, and worth four bunnies of anyone's money!
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