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Red

 

 

 

We bare ourselves
as the teeth of a mad dog.

Peeling the day's knots
from skin, we leave clothes vulnerable
to the wine-stained carpet
you've promised to clean
for months.

The minute hand has only
moved about four degrees; it seems
we have been here
forever.
Agreeing, the window
fogs: two young coconut trees
sway in the backyard.

Thighs clap.

You tell me to call
your name
but words buckle, and

 

my tongue hangs
like a moon without stars.

 

 

 

 

 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • hilly
    December 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am so ashamed of myself for just beginning to read your work again, shame on me. You are quite the writer, and very consistent.


  • R S Adams Jr silver member
    July 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    very vivid

    I like this free verse. Your use of imagery and metaphor is incredible. Well done.


  • Jersene gold member
    June 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent! I love the last two lines...they're so powerful


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    June 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is very good poetry, i love it...


    nuf said


    al


  • misselaineous
    June 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    deep layers
    wonderful


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    June 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    and I meant to say good luck in the contest too..
    but never remember to

    until I've gotten all mystified and left...

  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    June 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    this is gorgeous...
    I love how I am able to read it so many different ways..
    So much two, and then suddenly far more

    those thighs roar like thunder
    in a powerful sky

    and that moon is beautiful



    • J.J. Sass
      June 18, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      So glad you enjoyed the piece, and took from it so many interpretations.

      Stacy


  • lilAj
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    dont mek me galang bad on allpoetry fi this! wo wow!
    JA to the worrld!
    your style has a unique clarity, beauty and depth thats amost scary lol
    glad to see a write from you again


  • Heart Sutra
    June 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You are so talented!

    I have missed your writing too!!!

    • J.J. Sass
      June 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Oh momma, thanks so much! I know I'll probably be gone again for a little while as the day is fast approaching.

  • tara wilson gold member
    June 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is excellent poetry - I love the first two lines..what a way to lead the reader into the tone of the poem...I love 'thighs clap'..
    "my tongue hangs
    like a moon without stars."..this brings me back to the first two lines ..what wonderful imagery


  • Nicolette gold member
    June 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is great poetry, Stacy!! I simply loved this one. It has that "lingering" quality that makes a poem a great poem.

    ~ Nicolette

1 - 21 of 21