Never The Same

Power behind the pedals.
Clocked at doing 108,
she can't see what's going passed her.
Everything is such a blur.

Slow down!
You're going so fast that

I might lose myself tonight.
Are you crazy dear,

that you would pass the red lights and stop signs?

Slow it down,
we aren't in that big a rush.

Stop...

Stop!

STOP!

Author notes

Prompt: Driving

A contest entry

Do it without metaphor! by Nicole Hanna. 300 points, ended July 9, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Driving (prewrites welcome) by Danna Hobart. 490 points, ended January 13, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
Danna Hobart
January 1

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Oh, we have all heard this, or said it

I hope that he stopped in time. (I say "he" because only a man would drive so recklessly)

Thank you for entering my contest.
movedon
July 24, 2008
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Very well written.

Warmest,
Mylee
juno0404
July 8, 2008

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Liked this a lot, very interesting write.

"Stop...

Stop!

STOP! "
Now this grabs attention.
Brilliant indeed.
Some times it is better without the extra topping.
Wish you the best in the contest.
MichaelBe
July 1, 2008

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Hmm this was really interesting to read; a very unique style. I like the words "I might lose myself" as well; its a good metaphor.

Great work,

Michael
Heath Thompson
June 17, 2008

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Hi Chris,

As requested, I have put a critique of your work here:

http://allpoetry.com/board/topic/268594700

Hope it helps.

Heath
RedwingSpirit
June 13, 2008
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AHHHHHHHH!!! Nice one Love it!
Mistress Masquerade
June 13, 2008

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I like how you used font size to add emphasis, you might want to check the grammer in some parts, I don't know some parts just sounded off to me. Over all I really like this and found it to be a very unique write.