I am the wind.
Dancing with the ocean’s
brawny arms, strolling
along the moonlight’s silver
path from the horizon divide
‘cross the sea’s calling sighs
I come casting frothy pearls
along the crests of promise.
I slip my salty breath through
your tresses, toss a lock or two
then, with the last tendril
falling back across your face
I leave a kiss glistening
behind your ear.
I am the water.
Raised from the cusp
the world traces against the sky,
I am tossed in clouds,
stirred by the wind, forming
droplet by droplet around dust.
I come as rain. Run my fingers
in splashes over bare flesh;
soak clothes until they cling,
tight, like shadows across your light.
I course in streams, flowing fast,
bred in the melt of mountain tops.
I dance on rocks, ricochet against banks,
till I hold you afloat while you
swim in the pulse of my heart.
I am light.
The first ray
glitters on your cheek.
Gilded fingers memorize
every cell as you yawn, stretch,
watch the predawn pink
turn clouds into flowers awakening.
I arouse the blossoms in the bud
so you can be buried in the garden’s
aromas. Open the world to your
eyes so they can gaze upon
the gifts that life shares, thanks
spread from heart to heart. I
splinter the darkness,
chase away the fears
hiding inside
sleepy dreams.
I sense every foot print
you lay upon the earth.
I am filled with blessings
as you walk across me.
I stir every element till
they combust within
your spirit, bring fire
to sparkle in your eyes.
The breath you take
pulls me into you.
You are full of me.
I am rich,
savor the flavors
the textures
your composition.
‘til flesh meets flesh,
when we close
the human gap,
the world insists
we be kept
touching.
Till the fires
love burns
across our hearts
has been answered,
time will continue
crumbling at the gate
where we
are met.
6:00 PM
12/13/07
Alexandria, VA
Author notes
Some seek the philosopher's stone to turn lead to gold. This Alchemist seeks the understanding to bridge time and distance with love.
In a list
A contest entry
- The Elements by BlackSwan.
900 points, ended June 17, 2008, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think, what it makes you feel, how you are moved.
Comments
1 - 92 of 92
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the imagery does make it realistic in a solid kind of way, which I appreciate
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There was a contest and she wanted us to write about one element. I began to play with my sense of how the four elements, earth, air, fire, water came together and interplayed in human love. It led to this poem. I acknowledge that I delight in the romantic, the magical. I am deeply spiritual so it influences everything. Glad you enjoyed.
Peace,
Tom B.
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that is incredibly beautiful in its purity. your pens has not been tainted I see. I hope to have such light in my life. I think we all do, or should. But my judgment is not against such either.
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beautiful imagery
I really love the imagery and motion in this poem. I feel that the last two stanzas do not continue the same effect as the earlier sections of this poem. I was expecting some more imagery of light and water ( perhaps the sparkles in dew drops) to emphasize and guide the emotional expression of the last two stanzas. its well crafted and flows smoothly. Very nice poem. -
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Thank you
The first impetus was to catch the basic elements, earth, air, water and fire. Then, this dance of blending and coming together. The last two verses were bring the poem to a fruitful and gifted end. The imagery, for me, kept opening and leading the poem on to new vistas and I felt the poem had become big enough.
Glad you enjoyed this piece. Thanks again, for the thoughtful and balanced critique.
Peace,
Tom B.
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MORE. MORE. MORE!
This is very, very moving. I LOVE your use of metaphor. The poem reminded me of this game we used to play in my high school english class where we had to paint a beautiful picture of something using only words, and the rest of the class had to guess what you were talking about; only you named what you were talking about in the first line of each stanza. Even still, this is a beautiful poem and I'm touched. Keep up the good work.
By the way, I've added you in to my favorites. You are a fantastic poet.
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Thanks for the compliment
This was an experiment. I wanted to use the classical elements that everything could be broken down to. The idea was to have a metaphor, within a metaphor. We get lost in the forest for all the trees or we see the forest and forget how each individual tree changes the whole. One falls and the landscape changes, fire takes more than wood.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Oh my...this was deserving the Gold before, and I would say it will get it again, and again...Of course it depends on the audience...It is alive with energy, imagery, flow and life....This is my favorite of yours though I know I need to read alot more of yours...I love it!
Bookmarked!
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Thanks so much for sharing the joy you have received from my piece. I am blessed anytime I find it has touched someone.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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This was intersting. It was really good and very enjoyable to read. Thanks so much for entering and best of luck to you in the contest.
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congrats on the gold
and well deserved it is...
you are the words
that float from your soul
you are a treasure of balm for this sorry world
alchemist turning random thoughts into gold
Annie -
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Thank you for the wonderful compliment
Sometimes I am gifted and I can do more than pass on what has been given to me.
Peace & Love,
Tom B.
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I have a piece written in the same style my friend..
..Forever In Your Eyes......
This is a stunning piece....
The forth stanza is just a corkscrew to the heart my brother,
With the power of love,
anything is possible.
Thanks for the interesting comment and for taking the time to read,
help yourself to the suggested one if you desire...
i think you ll see the style we both went for....
Great job.
Liam
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Some poems are a whim, some, like this one, grow out of a vision, an insight that demands being explored and exposed. I will probably get each piece checked out. Time will tell,
Tom B.
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beautifully done.
keep writing.
-P.rose
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I like my waffles golden brown
Poetry is a moment when all that is beautiful speaks to the artist and they find a way to share it with the reader so it resonants for them. We are each a poem living out a story.
For an artist to stop creating is to die. Glad to hear you want me around a little longer.
Love, Tom B.
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I can see and envision that beat within those elements that are invoked within nature herself...as she waves within that breath of time ...all that's created within the universe.
well done!
Bill
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For those who study arcana, lovers of mystery and magic, travelers upon a mystic path this poem seems to be a joy. I wanted only to find a way to show how the four basic elements spoke to the spirit and and were woven through the fabric of love. It was a joy to write, thanks for sharing what you found in it. This increases my understanding.
Peace,
Tom B.
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well deserved of the GOLD!
each line was a feast
and huge sigh to be enjoyed!
well done master poet, well done!
ears/Seattle
Applause-Applause-Applause!
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This was solely the dance of the elements. it was fun to write. I was fortunate to be riding the right wave when I wrote it.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Really like this whole thing and how describe light, water, and wind which is very imaginative, the ending is great, makes me think of ending up at our final destination in the spiritual world.
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I let love carry on way past the flesh and if lives are many and the spirit strong then love with come again for those who are soul mates again and again. I like the imagery and the use of the four elements. It was really done as a challenge to myself when I took on a contests prompt and made it bigger and more difficult. Fortunately the person giving the contest fell in love with my words.
Thank you,
Tom B.
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excellent~
Just so very beautiful
Love it
Congrats on the Gold Trophy
You words flow like honey
Hugs
Susan~~~
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Thank you
This one holds its own magic. Glad you enjoyed.
Love, Tom B.
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You have a way
of pulling the reader in and feeling the words that you write with your imagery and passion. i enjoyed this very much, congrats on the gold
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That is always my goal. I am fortunate when I succeed. Glad this one succeeded so nicely for you.
Love, Tom B.
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stunning
I am the wind.
Dancing with the ocean’s
brawny arms, strolling
along the moonlight’s silver
path from the horizon divide
‘cross the sea’s calling sighs
I come casting frothy pearls
along the crests of promise.
I slip my salty breath through
your tresses, toss a lock or two
then, with the last tendril
falling back across your face
I leave a kiss glistening
behind your ear.
from the first you grab the reader and pull you through
sliding simply through the currents of your words
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This started as an experiment in catching love broken into the alchemical idea of the basic elements. I have learned it transformed into much more.
Love, Tom B. -
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love it my friend
I truly do, it is magical
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oh how i envy you the magic you create with your words, they form a beauty that i could never hope to recreate in my wildest dreams. i am not alone in my adoration of your writing as all your nice shiny trophies help to prove
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This is one I was blessed to write. Envy me not, but instead use it to discover your own fire so you can toast your soul and dance on the air.
Love, Tom B.
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Very well written. I admire the way you constructed this poem. Your word choice and rhythm make it flow so easily.
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I love to use lyricism to tie a poem together. It doesn't always work as well as I might like. But, in this one I seemed to be guided by my muse. I am glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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lovely
sorry i haven't commented in awhile, you must've thought i dropped of the face of the earth. this poem is absolutely gorgeous in it's imagery, i always find your writing inspires me to write more, myself. and please continue turning out quality work, because it never fails to make me smile.
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I have no choice but to strive for quality. It is the way I give thanks for my talent, minor though it might be. Thanks for sharing your pleasure and joy with me. May the day dance with smiles for you.
Love, Tom B.
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Superb
A very fine write, indeed. You expressed your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
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Amazing!! The one poem is excellent and this one is superb. Then, I am so incredible that you are so speechless and at a loss for words that you repeat yourself. High Praise indeed. Is it not, my friend.
Peace & Light,
Tom B. -
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Aye, I suppose 'tis so. lol Anywho, I do like your writing, and my ratings reflect the emotional connection which I make with a poem, more than anything academic. Happy New Year!!
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Thanks for the note. I think you will find most of mine maintain the same standard.
Peace & Light,
Tom B. -
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You are quite welcome.
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What's in a word...??? Apparently EVERYTHING!!! Leaving no stone unturned you are a true bridgebuilder on the path to understanding.
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This came about because I had been thinking of the different elements and love. I had images of the perfect love being made in some alchemist's shop when the moon was full and the dew sparkling while he labored over ancient runes and in dim light. Then I saw the contest and it mutated into what you have now read. Thanks for enjoying it so well.
Love, Tom B.
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this is absolutely brilliant and spellbinding
embracing the elements and you do it with such finesse.
air
How clever of you to mention the drawing of the air into our lungs...it seems almost like a ritual, cleansing our body with fresh oxegen from the sky, sharing molecules and cells from our ancestors since time first began.
water
In its many forms
cleansing us as rain, washing away the old
some might see it as almost a baptism of life.
Giving us sustanence...water of life
earth
beneath our feet, the footprints we leave on our path in life.
fire
the fire in our hearts and our eyes when they are filled with the love of this earth
applause Tom this is a masterpiece, that gave me great pleasure to read.
hugs moony
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This was a little different from my normal run, a bit more declaritive. These I am poems can so rapidly fall into the passe and trite. I am glad to have escaped with my life. What gets written is a vision. When I am fortunate the vision runs true.
Love, Tom B. -
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methinks I have a couple of I am poems in hiding somewhere myself!
I like yours
credit where credit is due
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So alive with imagery and imagination and so many things that overwhelm my senses. This piece makes me wish so many things and feel so many more. You are truly an ingenious poet!
Truly,
Shadow Fox
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Thank you for a very high compliment. I strive to create a space for the spirit to awaken. I am honored that you have let it touch you so.
Peace & Light,
White Horse Flying.
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A powerful write... Your words create imagery I really like this imagery... Till the fires love burns
It describes love perfectly. A sensual beautiful phrase. and I thought the final line really rather exceptional!
crumbling at the gate
where we
are met.
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Thank you. This is a poem that challenged me to write it. I feel gratful that so many receive so much from it.
Love,
Tom B.
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Most deserving of the gold trophy, this was a great poem that touches all who read it, great job, John
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thank you. I work at making what is beautiful represented strongly with words. We create what we focus on.
Love,
Tom B.
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Beautiful Poetry
I can see why this won a Gold. It so deserves it. You have taken the elements that surround us daily and written of their beauty and purpose. A beautiful uplifting spiritual write. Wonderful way to start my day. A pleasure to read. Take care. Blessings to you.
Grace and Peace,
Sandy
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I wanted to celebrate love, being alive and this contest called to me. I took the opportunity and was blessed by the result. Thanks for sharing your pleasure in this gift.
Love,
Tom B.
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Radiant Like Golden Showers
I have placed this kiss behind my ear.
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This is but a primer on the possiblity of being alive.
Love,
Tom B.
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Such Words
are rarely crafted by so few, with a realization of themselves and the world around them. Your words, tell of the positiveness of life, one almost bursting forth with love to cloak us all.
Your offering testifies to the wisdom of one who has labored to understand all in the world about him. I am honored to have found this one.
Congrats on the gold, well deserved.
Respectfully,
Silent Hawk
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Such a compliment is far more than I deserve. I have, grant you, spent a great deal of time coming to peace with the spiritual side of the universe. It is its own convoluted course, one where the story tries to replace the truth and the mind is always trying to pretend it can do it all. I am not the most disciplined, nor the most accomplished of people. If my little bit of insight into how the world is fashioned helps, then I am blessed. Here again is an example of how the poem wrote me far more than I wrote the poem. Thanks again for all the praise. May the world support your dreams and your adventures not leave any permanent damage
Peace & Light,
White Horse Flying
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this is absolutely brillant...your iumagery and metaphors are amazing. I will add this to my list of Imagery defined...thank you for sharing.
Shelly
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Just so you know, I started writing when I was sixteen. An English teacher gave us Message from Ginsberg's Kaddish. it was my first taste of beat poetry and it sang to me about moving and being in new places and not having someone to hold, all the feelings I knew as a military brat. It was the first art work that talked directly to my physical experience.
When I was seventeen, I figured that I could be exquisite at being dark, depressed and negative. I wrote what many would view as stream of consciousness but it was me trying to express feelings I did not know how to feel and the desires of an inner self that did not feel it had any other voice.
When I tried to write positive happy beautiful things, they all sounded trite, banal, really sorry rejects from "Hallmark Cards" I realized then it would be the most important thing I learned how to do. I would become exquisite at the positive.
The rest is a long tale. But at thirty-seven, I wrote that poem. My life began to change. Almost, as if I had entered a fairy tale. I am fifty-eight now. My poetry has grown and you don't see many sad and weary tales from me. It is not about being positive. Just thankful for as many things you can think of and open to possiblity.
I talk far too much. Most people never see how much I listen. They sometimes ask me when I take the risk of telling what i see, "Do I have a neon sign on my forehead." Thanks for stopping by. I always appreciate a thoughtful reflection.
Love, Tom B.
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This is how Women should be worshipped with gentleness and respect and so much love that it leaps off the page because it is given so freely
MM
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Many feel that life must be escaped or is only a fount of suffering. I guess you could call this poem a celebration of the other view. We are able to celebrate life, love and each other, if we want. Then, and only then, can people partner fully and greet each other in their full humaness.
Love, Tom B.
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This poem has been splendidly expressed.
The creation of imagery, the usage of metaphor and words has been done wonderfully.
Congrats on the Gold.
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Thanks for sharing your joy in reading with the writer. I write from esoteric visions and images when I write something like this. A poem like "Afterword" is where I try to relay a moment and let it speak for itself. Very different approaches. I figure no one poem speaks to everyone and I try different paradigms to reach the largest number.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Beautifully and skillfully written
Usually I like to look for a line that stands out as most appealing. This time you had me stumped! I liked every word, the imagery, the flow, the depth and emotion. Thank you for sharing your talent for our enjoyment.
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Thanks. I appreciate you taking the time to share your pleasure in my efforts. This is where the poem wrote me as much as I wrote the poem. May your muse sing strongly,
Tom B.
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I saw, I felt, I was moved from mediocre
into a more sure-footed surreal stroll through
time and chemistry.
Beautifully written with precision and
great command of language.
I
splinter the darkness,
chase away the fears
hiding inside
sleepy dreams. Those lines WOWEd me
Each line was tight and polished!
I see the 'gold' throughout. Wonderful
Congrats!
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I saw the contest and was struck with a vision of sorts. It took me a while to get the structure and the parts into play. It took several false starts. It worked better than I could of hoped.
Thank you for enjoying it so much. I am always moved when one of my poems succeeds in touching someone.
Love, Tom B.
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amazing
This is a poem that sings to the very oceanic depths of a persons soul. You described every element that could be related to a human being and you made it into your own. It sings a lures like the sirens from the Odessey. I missed your work so much You've gottne more amazing sine the last poem I read if thats even possible.
-Jordanne
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This is one of those rare gifts of a poem. It sings its own way into the heart. Thanks for enjoying it so much.
Love, Tom B.
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Congra'd on the Gold my friend. For you are the wind, the breath of a new day. Soft water droplets! All those things, a first light of a new day! I hold you in my prayers, that you never stop writing like this! Fabulous write Tom! ~Sie
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Thanks Sie. This was one of those gifts from my muse. I will always attempt to capture the lyrical aliveness that inhabits the world. Thanks
Love, Tom B. -
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Oh the Gold!!! Well I think I knew it would. I am held within the magic spell your words create and I like it there
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I really enjoyed this poem. I love that you use the language and diction of the ocean throughout the entire poem. I also enjoyed your flow, it has good rhythm =)
I like the lines, "I am tossed in clouds,
stirred by the wind, forming
droplet by droplet around dust.
I come as rain. Run my fingers
in splashes over bare flesh;
soak clothes until they cling,
tight, like shadows across your light.
I course in streams, flowing fast,
bred in the melt of mountain tops."
Bravo =)
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Thanks for hearing the music I try to install into my poetry. Creating this one was one of those moments of true inspiration. Again my thanks for stopping and sharing your thoughts.
Love, Tom B.
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IMAGERY IS INSPIRING I LOVE THIS!
-GL in contest -
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Thanks for the gold, to get one from someone totally unfamiliar with my voice and style means a great deal to me. Thanks even more for the contest itself for it inspired the poem. I wouldn't have started thinking in these terms if you hadn't come up with the contest.
Commenting on peoples poems in a contest is hard work. I know I run a contest now and then. I try to be honest, I give everyone three applause as thanks for entering, that is my choice. I comment as soon as I can after they have been entered because I find I can't deal with all the work at once at the end of a contest. I like one person's idea. She prints all the poems out and looks at them to decide. If I can't get clarity, I will use her idea 'cause it helps me relook at everything. I don't want to look at other peoples comments till after I have judged. I hope these suggestions are a help the next time you do a contest. Again my thanks for everything.
Love, Tom B.
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BREATH TAKING
For this dance with life is to dance with nature...the elements of all that stand for life...sighs...the best you have ever written...niaish my Master Poet Niaish!!
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I am amazed at the response to this. It started slowly and often was like cracking geodes or unpacking those dolls inside of dolls. Glad you enjoyed this. It does sing.
Love, Tom B.
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Wonderful! As I read this I could feel one with love and nature! There is a spiritual truth in these words.
***Pam***
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Thanks. I strive to let the mystical, the spiritual, the inner songs of aliveness dance through my words. I am blessed when it appears I have succeeded. Again, Thank you.
Love, Tom B.
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This is oen of the best poems I have read on AP. You ahve captured the authentic elements.. bravoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! It is beyond imagining until you read this poem..and then you have the senses that fill you with knowing.
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I am more than complimented. I am stunned. I let this one come through the crumbling words of my first draft. I knew I had found a trace but I had to center and wait for the words to reveal to me more than just a taste. Then exposed, I let it capture me with its rapture.
Love, Tom B.
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Till the fires
love burns
across our hearts
has been answered,
time will continue
crumbling at the gate
where we
are met.
~ pretty intense write! I enjoyed it, sometimes it's good to read things that are smartly written Time and again, I see why Lisa calls you teacher. Well done.
~ Tim
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The original was written in the past tense. I had to move it to the present. Didn't begin to fall in love with this until then. Then the last lines you so kindly quote showed up after I had made other changes, trying to tune this so it spoke clear and vibrantly of the love it touches. Thanks for sharing with me that you take so much from my writes.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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This the most magnificent reflection of a man, using every element....The first v. made me want to go swimming and the other vesres wrapped around me in pure comfort as I read them.... your words sang love..
like the tide ebbing, flowing you always come back...I found this soft, tender. It touched me because I love the ocean; I was in awe from there....beautifully penned I adored this read....novy
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When I first wrote this I used was instead of am. It felt weak and lacked a vibrance and immediacy. Once I made that change it began to take its own life and sing the song I wished to create. Glad this one spoke so loudly to you.
Love, Tom B.
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You are God's reflection on every single part of earth. I breathe you in, and absorb your thoughts, and feel like I am a part of you. As you know, in my profession, touch, skin on skin, is the most healing and unifying sense! Men come to me, lacking touch and that feeling of connecting to another human. IN a non-sexual way, for 2 hours I give them joy, release stress, and make them know they are one with me. Everything you pen is born from a single cell multiplying into many atoms of immeasurable love!
Love,
Linda
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This is a mystical poem. It is a poem of being and joy. Aliveness is truly and expression of love. Being in the moment makes us beacons of love. People, in my experience, want to share in the Light that streams from you as the world stirs you into everything in this moment, in this now.
Love, Tom B.
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Your right,loved it! Favorite line:
I wake the blossoms in the bud
so you can be buried in the garden’s
aromas. I open the world to your
eyes so they can gaze upon
the gifts that life wants thanks
spread from heart to heart.
Beautiful,Amazing..
P.S. In response to your comment in 'Why?'
How couldn't I?
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This is a Whitmanesque celebration of being alive, in love and apart from your lover. This is a chance to bring the whole world into touch and recognize the sense of aliveness and joy that are so much a dynamic part of love.
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And so the magic continues to seep from your heart to mine without it ever being truly touched by skin, it is the sense of feeling and touch that makes us so entwined with one another. Just as sure as an ocean spills its tide, I will spill my heart to you and have it returned
Love, Cheryl
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Brilliant
I felt light and swept away by the pure beauty of your words and Gods creation. How love is so embracing and comes to us in many forms to fill us full within. It is a very deep poem and I know I will read it few a few more times just because it is so enlightening!! Thank you for sharing your increadible gift to write such brilliant poetry.
Many Blessings
Much Love
Kelle Marie
stavykm
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