A blaze that destroys,
But gives the spark of life
Glows in the sun
Dances in the hearth
Attracts the eyes
And brings desire.
It colors blood
Becomes lively,
It knows how to rush
And within our spirits
Its essence is alive
Giving warmth.
Propelled by enthusiasm
Exemplifying high spirts
Fire raises things,
Into the clouds and beyond...
The stars, the sun--
Are fire high up in the sky
We cannot truly be confined
Though clinging and captivating
We can be controlled from inside
We represent the force of the spirit
Passionate, emotional, untamed,
The most powerful of all energy forces!
Author notes
"Air fans it's flames, but it needs Earth to contain it. Water alone can put it out" -- I am Fire
A contest entry
- The Elements by angela.di.carta.
900 points, ended June 17, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me what you think.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
This is an excellent poem.
Your wording is very nicely done. Although I'm not Wiccan, I still can relate, and appreciate this piece. Although I see Water as the most powerful, because Water can put it out, and water can take away air too. Besides, I'm Cancer, so I'm partial to it. I feel at peace when I'm around it. You are a very artistic, visual writer. Once again, an excellent poem. Connie

-
Lovely beautifully structured composition. Loved the ideology it conveys. The terminology is beautiful and love how it flows. Wonderful! You are an amazing poet!
Keep up the good work, never stop that pen sliding along paper for you have the true ability to write poetry
~Emily~ xx


-
i really like the emotion you were trying to portray and the idea. however, a few issues
1)fire raises things(raises is spelled wrong btw) use something more powerful than things, fire raises life maybe
2:you used it quite a bit. dont tell me what it is. show me how it is, what it does, without telling me IT is this IT does that
3:sometimes the poem feels more like a list. use stronger for example instead of
It colors blood
Becomes lively,
It knows how to rush
And within our spirits
Its essence is alive
Giving warmth. what about
Crimson, coloring blood
Nature's passion lives
Rushing within our spirits
Living and giving warmth to all.
dont use that preferably, think up your own. and i dont mean to be rude or callous, but you said you dont mind critiques and i'm always very blunt on the first thing i read. though when you do edit it, please dont hesitate to tell me, i'd love to see the masterpiece -
-
haha... I just suck at spelling...
will have to definitely re-edit then...
yes, I dont mind at all. negative/postive feedback always helps.
Thanks for the honesty.
blessed be
-
-
well done! I loved this

-GL in contest -
Vivid!
That was a beautiful description of fire! The words flowed very well. This is a great piece, good luck in the contest. God bless.

1 - 6 of 6






