This moment
Death is swallowed up in victory!
I am brave
Undefeated
Each breathe is sweet
Veins scrubbed clean and pure
from the pounding of my heart
The work will go on
Someone else will wear my shoes
Shoot my gun
Wash the stains from my pants
and soldier on
A contest entry
- Picture prompt - Defiance! by Mairi bheag.
1000 points, ended June 14, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Excellent
A snapshot of a soldiers expectency of surviving one more day,vividly told,even to the last act of nature.
-
this is very powerful. the lines: "Veins scrubbed clean and pure from the pounding of my heart" were particularly moving. too real - I love this. great read - NANGALEEMA
-
Congratulations on the trophy. The poem captures the youth, the bravado and real courage of Filipovic, as well as the inevitability of the struggle and most of all the sense of resignation to fate.
-
I thought I had commented on this entry, but it seems I didn't; so I will do so now.
Why this one works for me is because you suddenly switch from the romantic to the realistic. The final four lines pack a great deal of punch.
Adding your comment:
