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Rolling Surf



Grains moving, tumbling in the rolling surf
with whispered voice singing a joyous song
inspired from the claim of valued turf
relinquished to be carried right along.

With whispered voice singing a joyous song
each pebble speaks its everlasting love;
relinquished to be carried right along
within the palms of those whom we speak of.

Each pebble speaks its everlasting love
washed clean beneath the saline and the brine
within the palms of those whom we speak of
where unto each warm lovers shall combine.

Washed clean beneath the saline and the brine
inspired from the claim of valued turf
where unto each warm lovers shall combine;
grains moving, tumbling in the rolling surf.

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    June 27, 2008

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    This is a beautiful pantoum with graceful, lilting language and a peaceful feeling of time and tide. I loved how each line melded with the one before, a difficult thing to achieve with repetitive poetry. Congratulations on your trophy. Peace, Liz


    • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
      June 27, 2008
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      Thank you Liz and congratulations on your gold. I wouldn't have picked any other either. Well done. ~Pamela


  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    June 26, 2008

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    Thank you for your entry

    Lovely, you managed to encorporate nature in with the prompt of romance and personification. Perhaps it is the form, or more your words and the form combined, but this reads to me like the ebb and flow of the tides. A very rhythmic flow to it.

    Excellent job on the form, your rhyme scheme is well devloped and gave a good rhythm to it. The flow and structure were well thoughtout. Kudos also for the custom background. Being a graphic maker I take note of such things.

    I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.

    God bless
    Tammy


    • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
      June 26, 2008
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      Tammy

      Thank you so much for your lovely comment and the HM in your contest. I am so pleased you enjoyed this. Thanks again for the lovely emerald cup and the opportunity to write. ~Pamela


  • ckwriter69
    June 21, 2008

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    Nice pantoum poem. I like the romantic lines that you have used here. A lot of emotion brought forth. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.

1 - 5 of 5