MY hand on MY neck with innocent intentions
It's not there
And suddenly I've betrayed myself.
Reminds me of your words and quiet inflections
I listened
But I didn't hear that you're afraid of yourself.
All I lost was a golden alligator
Its bright eye
And every pain that I watched you ingest
But your vision and desires are so much straighter
I'm selfish
And so I lost both things that shined in my chest
I searched in earnest by the river
It's lost
And my words stayed lodged where it should have been
For all unspoken words, my hands quivered
I'm sorry
And you're still fighting the anger you feel at my sin.
Author notes
My boyfriend has a habit of just taking the punches thrown at him, and I was hurting him and didn't know it as a result. Shortly after I lost the necklace he gave me. I relate the two incidents above.
Was it too vague to make sense? Was the rhythm unreadable?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Wow.
The rhyme was readable and it did make scence, but not so much until I read the author notes.
Sorry you lost the neaclace, I know how much it ment to you.
-
-
^.^''
Sorry it took me so long to reply.
Yes, it did mean a lot. I'm still kinda mad at myself, but I'm mostly over it. Besides, I've got those cool earrings - and the key to his chastity belt. Wait . . . did anyone explain that to you? :-?
-
-
The rhythm was ok; you could still get the rhythm out of the poem. This poem is wow, I just keep getting suprised by your poetry. You're so talented, keep up the good work. Yet another great write!
Love Your Big Brother,
~Adam <3
-
-
^.^ Thank you, big brother. I only submitted it because I really liked the ending, but it makes me so happy that you think it's wow.
-
-
^.^ I loved the ending to, thats the main thing that wow'ed me lol. It was a great closure I thought!
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
