Broken, bound, and beaten
she lays across his bed
praying to gods she doesn't believe in,
that it won't hurt as much this time.
His touch is passionately cruel,
biting her flesh-
tender welts and harsh lines
of blood rise to greet his fingertips.
"You chose this fate.
You chose to love the unlovable,
love the one that couldn't love you back"
The sneer in his voice, much crueler than the whip.
Fighting off the insanity,
she chooses just to breathe and let it be.
It's his desire that drove him this far,
so let it drown him too.
Drown him in currents of remorse,
in buckets of regret as the world
comes crashing down on him
reminding him of all the things he did.
Author notes
Cruel desire blind me to the simple things
19. "You can soften the blow but you can't stop the sting" -- "Going Through Changes" by Army of Me.
I chose two. The Cruel Desire is from the male's point of view. The Second the females.
Loving the unlovable. She fell in love with someone who only loved to bring others pain. Offered him everything, and anything.
A contest entry
- Prompt Contest (A-B) by OhNoChastity.
600 points, ended July 18, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I like where you took these two prompts. Your creativity is amazing. I felt like you really took them and made them your own. Instead of rewriting the phrases with more words, you used them as inspiration and flew with them. It made the poem very interesting to read. I didn't feel like the ending was obvious from the very beginning. I applaud you for that.
My favourite line would have to be "it's his desire that drove him this far so let him drown in it." It's a memorable line, thought inspiring, and an angle that I don't think many see in. Drowning in desire. It's something that makes my thighs tingle and my stomach clench up. Desire sexually, for love, for drugs, it's all the same, and it's an incredible emotion that can easily drown, though I've never seen it like that before.
I like how you chose to write the poem as well. Everything is subtle. It's not blatantly stated making it like a novel. And the sadistic twist on it leaves the reader wondering if the abuse is just as physical as it is emotional. I'm not sure if this was intentional, but if it was it works really well. If it wasn't, it still works really well.
Good job! Thank you for entering my contest and I can't wait to see more poetry from you.
-Jen -
"You chose this fate.
You chose to love the unlovable,
love the one that couldn't love you back"
The sneer in his voice, much crueler than the whip.
That's my favorite verse in the poem! This poem is totally awesome! I love the feeling that it has and the way that it has the ability to move someone. I hope to see more good poetry from you and to see you around. I always have contests going on, you should enter a poem sometime. I am pretty sure that you will win some!
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O:
That's a very depressing poem. It's even more sad that it happens every day, to people around me and out in the world today. And yet some stay, while others can't get away.
Life's cruel sometimes, isn't it?
I love your poem and it's imagery. I am glad I was able to read it. :]
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