Though miles away I can still
feel your arousing touch
A contest entry
- 500 points for 10 words by Unsigned.
950 points, ended June 15, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What is your first empression?
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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i can totally relate to this poem! i had a boyfriend who lived in another country! i wish you all the best of luck in the contest!
~NeeCee -
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Thank you for your nice comments.
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This reminds me of facebook poking.
Take that!
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OUCHIE......HEHE
Thanks for the poke
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though your miles away
strange soil beneath you
strange sky up above
just remember someone is thinking of you who cares
and your name is forever in my prayers.
Sorry it just sent my mind to that place , good write
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Tis ok...I completely understand how one can get caught up with the thoughts of another.
Thanks for reading my poem and commenting.
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One can accomplish this most effortlessly if they're good hahaha great write lol and good luck lol
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So true..so very true...*smiles*
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Very empassioned poem.
I'm not quite sure why people were confused about the first word; "Through" would not even remotely fit in that sentence.
This was very short, sweet, and to the point, and I felt as though it was a personal poem? Were you maybe writing out your true feelings of someone?
Hahaha. Very good write. Good luck!
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Thank you for you nice comments and for agreeing with me on my choice of words. You are right the word (through) would have fit in that sentence.
Yes it is a very personal poem that I was righting about someone who was on my mind at the time I was writing.
Thanks again. -
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of really who was that then...~sniggers~
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You really want to know Simon?
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for sure you know how nosey I am....
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This is sweet....
Nice job in 10!
Best wishes in the contest..
Write on!
*PEACE*
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Thank you for your sweet comment.
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i really like the detials you have used in this short and sweet poem, i completly understand teh miles away thing, and true love can be felt all the way across the world, i really think this poem says a lot in ten words, good luck in the contest and as always keep up the wonderful writing, ~Amy
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Thank you Amy for your sweet comments. I am sure you can understand how true love can be felt across the miles. I hope and pray that He comes home safe real soon. Thanks again.
Hugs,
Cheryl
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I loved this until I got to the word 'arousing.' The idea of the poem reminds me of the Vulcan ritual phrase of 'Parted from you but never parted,' which I think is deeply beautiful. Somehow, 'arousing' just got in the way of that. It's hard to explain.
I like what I think you're intending to say, though.
'Though' makes perfect sense to me. -
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Thank you for your comments. Arousing is just the word I was feeling at the time....kinda hard to explain also.
Thanks for agreeing with me on the word (Though) it does make perfect sense.
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Awesome! Though the first word? Is it supposed to be through?
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No the it is suppose to be Though as is Though you are miles away.
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It's a fine poem... although isn't the first word meant to be "Through"? The feeling is nice, but that single word makes me wonder... confused.
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No the first word is suppose to be Though
Sorry for the confusion.
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Pokes at you with a finger...Aroused?
lol
Great write here...
Simon
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Pokes right back at you......yes
lol.....*giggles*
Thank you..
Hugs,
Cheryl
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Wonderful I just love short poems
I think they're the best
yea, I know that feeling so well
memories that never fade
Roses to you
Teresa
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Thank you Teresa.....yes the short ones sometimes are the best...*smiles*. Ahh yes memories..I love my memories.
Thanks for the roses
Hugs,
Cheryl
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