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Ion

like electricity


when negative is positive
attraction

 

satisfaction drains me

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • GypsyEyes
    June 14, 2008

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    this is very beautiful..it brings me back to science class...i remember that lesson about how things attract...great poem! i wish you all the best of luck in the contest!
    ~NeeCee


  • Roaddog Wolf
    June 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    the electrical drain

    powerful yet energy deflating lol.


  • 2lullabyhaven
    June 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, you have drained me hahahaha good luck in the contest for sure lol

  • mr cheeseydude
    June 14, 2008

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    The comparison of love to electricity is an extremely accurate one, for love is quite captivating and powerful.

    However, I wasn't convinced by the poem very much. I guess scientific jargon isn't my idea of "sweet talk".

    Overall, good write.


  • peridotPixi
    June 14, 2008

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    oh this is a great take on the prompt i love the feelings and the creativity you have used here ion, like electricity, that is really cool, this poem says so much in 10 short words, good luck in the contest and as always keep up the wonderful writing, ~Amy


  • Aerden gold member
    June 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Kudoes to one who can describe love and lust in terms of nuclear physics. (g)


  • DarkStatic
    June 14, 2008
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    cool!


  • craftyangel43
    June 14, 2008
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    I really like this a lot. Great job.*smiles*

  • U.g.l.y.
    June 14, 2008

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    Using atomic language to define an emotion like this? Well, most people say that opposite poles attract themselves. Liked the vocabulary there.


  • Unsigned gold member
    June 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yes satisfaction can be oh so draining...

    I like this it is different to the others...


    Simon


  • The Unknown Poet1
    June 13, 2008

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    this works! not much to say to 10 words placed in a manner thatt works the prompt to a point of sharp effect. Again nicely transcribed and good luck in the contest... I might have to give the other 30 worder a go

1 - 12 of 12