Dreams hang,
Thoughts die,
Lonliness kills,
All because of You.
A contest entry
- 500 points for 10 words by Unsigned.
950 points, ended June 15, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How is It?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Sad and stirring.
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Not sure if that is love
then again without love those type of feelings rarely spawn, actually a very good write. "so as love crowns you,
so may it crucify you"
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This person sounds like a bummer/keeper? lol
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oh i really like all the angst in your poem! its very in your face and i like your title! i wish you the best of luck in the contest!
~NeeCee -
Maybe check again..
Best wishes in the contest...
Write on!
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This was very nicely done. I like the angsty kind of vibe given to the poem by placing the blame on a lost love.
I believe the word in the third line is spelled "Loneliness", but it's not that big of a deal; I'm simply a huge grammar/punctuation/spelling nerd.
Finally, at the end, the capitalization of the word "You" is phenomenal. It really draws out the fact that you're speaking to someone, and it reveals how strongly you feel about that person.
Good luck!
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i really like your take on the prompt i love how you have used love kills as your title, i like how lonliness kills all because of you, this poem has a lot of great feelings in it and says so much, good luck in the contest and as always keep up the wonderful writing ~Amy
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Heartfelt ten words..'because of you' made it very powerful..best of luck
Ruby
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very touching; good luck!
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I don't think it's love that kills; it's self-absorption. But this poem paints a vivid picture of how people often react to losing a love interest. Good!
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Very strong but true words. Good job.
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And yes, love kills... "Loneliness" is the word there, but that doesn't flaw the ugly vision of love painted in beautiful words.
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ow that has to hurt
Well done and good luck
Simon
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