Our hearts beat as one
Gazing into your eyes
Passion
Author notes
photo prompt:unknown
10 words
A contest entry
- 500 points for 10 words by Unsigned.
950 points, ended June 15, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Very few words that say it all, great job expressing.
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I love the use of pasion in this poem.
Alex.
Good luck.
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Great title. I hope I get the job.
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that is a great feeling
looking into a lovers eyes and feeling the heart beat of one, good write
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i actually liked the simplicity of your poem! you didnt try to make it anything it wasnt! i mean come on now its 10 words! i'm sure if you had a couple of stanzas to work with you would have penned this beautiful complex and mysterious masterpiece...but really love your use of words...its love spelled out in 10 words...true love isnt complicated and neither is your poem! i wish you the best of luck in the contest!
~NeeCee -
LOVEly penning...
Best wishes in the contest...
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The ideas are a bit overdone; however, they are classics.
These few phrases definitely sum up love simply and clearly. In fact, the simplicity is what truly adds to the emotional response of the readers.
Good luck!
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Nice approach with the prompt lol and good luck lol
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I think you could be saying something fresher with this. These same three ideas have been used before by a lot of people on AP. The first line, at the very least, has been used in a pop song--so has the third line, for that matter.
I think you're suffering from the same problem I've been told my poetry suffers from. Best of luck in getting around that--I'm working at it, too.
I don't like to give negative critiquest of poems I'm competing against in contests, but no one else is telling you this. There has to be a point at which nice stops and truth steps in. -
Really touching; awesome!
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I really like this one. Hearts beating as one.
Great job
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Simple, yet captivating. Not much to say, I think I'd put this in a poetic dictionary if there's even a project for creating one.
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Yip....well done.
I love looking into my loves eeys..
Simon
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