Still WIP, will probably edit
You may subdue
under covers of laded morass,
take a thread; hide it
deep within wafts, wefts
of repetitive patterns
in hope of disrupting its flow,
or mumble revolution
behind buck fence teeth
while their innocence shines,
and maybe
the electrical will bond
to chemical, a beat
upon the cardiograph of conscience,
but I forge headlines.
Warm, wet circles
punctuating expression
upon suppressions chest,
turning pseudo smiles
to floored jaw gapes
of realisation;
the fist turned dentist,
extracting retorts
from gardens behind walls.
Stimulating lobotomised doctrine,
the instigator, invigorator
blowing bubbles into stagnant dreams.
Author notes
"I like ideas about the breaking away or overthrowing of established order…. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom-external revolt is a way to bring about internal freedom. Rather than starting inside, I start outside-reach the mental through the physical."
- James D. Morrison
A contest entry
- The Inner Circle [2] - Invite Only by Never Fall in Love.
1350 points, ended July 2, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critique Requested
Comments
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Fantastic.
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wow
your write is fantastic..and your quote inspiration molds right in..
the fist turned dentist,
extracting retorts
from gardens behind walls.
absolutely love this line..brilliant..as always...as for suggestions..my little mind is boggled..it just doesn't work in this caliber..but to me it doesn't seem to have the tying finesse yet..and not sure what to add or take away..so ..yeah..i am no help..let me know what you come up with though..cuz..i know i will be amazed..absolutely love it so far..on your way to trophy i am sure..hehe..thanx so much for sharing..hugs a bunch...blessings..namaste..my friend...
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