He floated from his crypt
riding the thermals
of a warm summer breeze.
No sweat came from his forehead
or beaded off his long dead, cold skin.
High above the ancient graveyard
he looked down on his hunting ground.
Where he fed upon the misfits of the city.
The homeless urban tumbleweeds of society.
Lost souls that would never be missed.
They littered his overgrown bone orchard
abandoned to a time of centuries long past.
They only sought shelter and relief from the heat
on the cool marble floors of ancient mausoleums.
Each night they came when dusk was nigh
as the last shimmering light, of a vampires torment
slowly disappeared, behind the blue event horizon.
The venomous fireball had fled the night sky.
Too many empty years, he felt the pain in his black heart.
For too many centuries alone, the crimson tears about to start.
He decided his next kill, would become his demonic black mate.
There was plenty for two to hunt here, room enough for one more plate.
Sobbing and pleading with tears streaking down her face
he whispers in her ear, shouldn’t have entered this place!
Tonight I’ll feast on your blood while Satan feeds on your soul.
Say goodbye to the sunlight, to dwell for eternity in this black hole.
But you won’t be alone my pretty, for I’ll be by your side.
In life you were a hooker, in death you’ll be my bride.
So take my hand don’t fear me, immortality I give to you.
Forever you’ll be near me, my blushing bride in skin so blue.
Author notes
Vampire Kisses
In a list
A contest entry
- A Midnight Valentine by Redrusty66.
600 points, ended June 26, 2008, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - When Love and Death Embrace... by Zane Rose.
1000 points, ended August 22, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Happy Part Of Darkness by Abstract Image.
450 points, ended September 10, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Azlyn Is BORED!!! by SummerlandRayne.
523 points, ended May 2, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Embracing the Night by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended August 4, 27 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Suck My Kiss. by Poetryintheblood.
900 points, ended October 12, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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from start to end you yeild this darkness well
good rhyming and flow
like this stanza..
Each night they came when dusk was nigh
as the last shimmering light, of a vampires torment
slowly disappeared, behind the blue event horizon.
The venomous fireball had fled the night sky.
good luck to you in the contest
thanks for the share
Darky
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I loved this from beginning to end, excellent write, thank you and good luck in my contest, Josie
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Nice job. This is a gr8 write and I love it, though you could have been more consistant with the rhyming... Anyways, thanx 4 entering and good luck in the contest.
Regards,
DeathuponTyne -
very good job!!!! I liked this very much! Good luck and thank you for entering!!!!
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I like the rhyme that developed that you ended this poem with it really began to wrap up the entire piece wonderfully. Wow... I hate it when I can't think of anything to say to a poem. I loved the visuals and the story you wove. THe vampire is so dark and sinister here with no remorse for what he does. Fantastic. The last stanza was my favorite you ended this perfectly.
Thanks for entering my conetst
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I loved the first stanza, ...and the last stanza was amazing...perfect way to end it...this was a great poem..
thanks for entering and good luck.. -
WOW Now that is damn good poetry at work I love vamps myself just call me a fangbanger lol Wonderful job I am adding this to the finalist list
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Great write with an awesome picture! Gratz on the trophies you have so far
thank you for entering my contest and good luck
-♥Amy♥ -
Dark and delicious!!! Thank you so much for the entry!
Az
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Ok this is good. It's pretty well written. I would like to see more non-rhyming poems from you though. This is really good. I give you 5 points, so now you have a total of 38. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you. kahy
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Again the second poem and it is also AMAZING good luck!
^,..,^ -
A true vampire poem.....
beautifully done to a great and lovable end.
I fear lycan-vampires-dragons and have written on them but still am scared of the topic.
But your poem does take out the fear.
Congrats.
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The first stanza really grabs my attention on this one and it was fairly strong all the way through. A good piece to be sure. Nice job.
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'High above the ancient graveyard
he looked down on his hunting ground.
Where he fed upon the misfits of the city.
The homeless urban tumbleweeds of society.
Lost souls that would never be missed.
They littered his overgrown bone orchard
abandoned to a time of centuries long past.
They only sought shelter and relief from the heat
on the cool marble floors of ancient mausoleums.'
Yas it may be alot but that part sent shivers down my spine and made me gasp. Oh it was amazing. The flow of this poem was wonderful. It was absolutly delightful. The story is absolutly amazing and a little sad. But he's helping her really, giveing her a better 'life' for herself. She'll be somthing more than a hooker. This is a wonderful poem. Best of luck and all my best. xoxoxo
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Each night they came when dusk was nigh
i think you forgot the T
But you won’t be alone my pretty, for I’ll be by your side. lol,made me laugh cause of the "my pretty" part. i really like it though, good job and good luc -
Congrats on the Gold and Silvers. Well deserved. Good luck in this contest. I enjoyed reading this poem.Thank you for sharing!
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I like this, it's quite different! Good luck in the contest!
-Faded -
Sweet
Another vampire poem. Like I said about the other one i read, I love vampire poems and have loved them even more ever since i started reading the Twilight Series and i also have a good feeling about this one it's just so strong. Good Luck. -
amazing a very nice write thank you for entering
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I LOVE the last line! Absolutely wonderful! The story was great! I loved all of it. Thats all I can really say.
thank you for entering and good luck!
~Allie -
Quite gruesome and spooky. The last line is nicely rhymed. Thank you for the entry.
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Astounding
This is far beyound any words I can think of. This is quite simply, amazing!!! Those lines,
Too many empty years, he felt the pain in his black heart.
For too many centuries alone, the black tears about to start.
I love those lines!! Because, even though some of us aren't vampires, many feel this way. This was awesome and I enjoyed it so much I read it twice! Thank you for entering and Good Luck!!
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Very nice, good construction and flow. It created a nice moody dark atmosphere and opened itself up to the reader's personal interpretations very well. Great use of wordplay and vocabulary to instill the imagery. Thanks for the great read.
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Thank you so much for the Silver Cup. It is most appreciated
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This was a well written. Having a few lines of rhyming wasn't bad. Job well done.
Ray -
really well done metaphors!
"Where he fed upon the misfits of the city.
The homeless urban tumbleweeds of society."
"Lost souls that would never be missed.
They littered his overgrown bone orchard"
only thing was the random rhyming in the middle?
otherwise well done! i really enjoyed reading this.
-GL in contest
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Koodles Koodles!!! Exclent poem and the imagery in this is just wonderful. Again great job and good luck in the contest.
Blessed be
Mystic -
Thank you for entering my contest. The imagery in this poem was wonderful. Great write and good luck
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"He floated from his crypt" is such a great way to begin this poem! Lots of phrases to like here too, such as, "bone orchard," "blushing bride in skin so blue" and the last two lines of stanza three (that says so much about their so called life.)
The flow and rhyme are great and I really love the tone of this poem. Playful but a bit frightening too.
~ Joyce
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I really liked this piece of yours. You did a really good job of writing it. There was one error in it, I think you mean "goodbye" you have "good by". any way good luck to you in the contest.
~~Tori~~ -
Yes this piece is acceptable, you did a great job writing it. I didn't even think of putting only 2 together. Thank you for entering my contest.
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